Whoa, I don't get me

It's 7:30 in the morning. I haven't slept all night cuz I'm nocturnal and at this point there's no reason to sleep for 2 hours before class when I can sleep for 9 hours afterwards. It's freezing outside but warm under my covers. I'm starving and sleepy. Yet all I wanna do is RUN! Like, honest to goodness, layer up, lace up those shoes, and RUN! Trippy...

My body apparently doesn't like exercising

I had indoor soccer last night and apparently I've been made a forward. I actually kind of like it since I get to run around more and actually work on my soccer skills, but I'm so not in shape for that! I remember hearing the buzzer and realizing that it's only halftime, when I was dead tired. I spent the rest of the game doing short sprints and walking most of the time. Wow, I need to work on that!

Apparently, I also did something to my knee, because it started getting sore right after the game and got worse as the night went on. This morning, I couldn't get out of bed without pain and have been limping most of the evening. I can't really even walk very fast cuz of the pain. I had to miss out on Irish dance, which I'm not too bummed about cuz it's getting pretty frustrating not being able to do all the steps.

So yeah, I was totally excited about the next step of C210K but had to sit this one out. I guess it's good cuz it's pretty icy outside right now so it was a good rest day. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better and if not, I can either go for a bike ride or a swim. Either way, I'm exercising!

Happy days

Today I finally started the Couch to 10k thing I set out to do about a month ago. I did jump ahead a bit and began with Week 4 since I have some endurance already. Not much, but some. Wow, was it a wake-up call. Running 3 minutes straight was DIFFICULT. I could do it, but I really wanted to quit. By the 6th time, I had to stop for a second to catch my breath, but I did the whole thing and it left me wanting to do more! Whoa. That's not something I expected from myself considering the fact that I HATE running. But this was actually quite pleasant. I know I could've pushed myself harder on the runs and I tried on the last one, but I found myself going back to the comfortable slow jog. I guess it's not that big of a deal since I ran in the first place, but I guess my ultimate goal is to enjoy pushing myself when running, which hasn't been the case here. But I did it, want to keep doing it, and see myself continuing with this C210K program, so mission accomplished!

I also talked to my roommate about pushing back the triathlon, so that's two big hurdles out of the way. She was slightly bummed, I think, but it somewhat made sense to her. She did say that she still wants to do a tri the same weekend that we were supposed to do the Vegas one even if it's on her own, so I said that I'd do a sprint with her around here and she seemed happy with that compromise. I think she wanted to go to Vegas in April, which was part of the reason she was bummed, but money is kind of tight for both of us, so it makes more sense to save up and go in October instead, when there is another tri put on by the same race director. So all is well at home, too.

And my tummy is feeling a lot better. I made my Sicilian Chicken dish, but following instructions gave me way too much chicken (I even triple checked) so I halved it and it was just enough. That was supposed to last me 4 days, but it made it 3 and a half. I was even happy to eat the leftovers. I guess this week is a new me. Weird. So now I have to plan out more dinners since I'm out of ideas.

At Costco we found a scale that was pretty cheap and had BMI and body fat percentage on it, so we started playing with it in the store and finally decided to buy it. It's awesome, BUT it's also 4 lbs off from the scale I have in my room, which happens to be 6 years old and has traveled the world, so I'm not too surprised that it's off. I weighed myself a few times throughout the day, which wasn't that long cuz I woke up at 5 pm. Yeah, you read that right.

Anyways, I don't know which numbers to use now. I like that the new one gives body fat percentage (and that I'm 4 lbs lighter on it), but that totally messes up everything else since I've been weighing myself for years and my handwritten journal has those weights. Same with SparkPeople and my triathlon log book, although the former can probably be easily fixed since I haven't inputted too many weights. I'm most concerned about my GoWear Fit since it uses weight data to calibrate itself and "get to know" me better through calorie deficits and the resulting weight loss. I guess one off reading won't mess with it too much, so I should just go for using the new scale and get some accurate body fat percentage data out of it.

Ok, I have to get to bed since I've been skipping too much Italian class and I'm starting to fall behind. I didn't realize second semester would actually be difficult. Night!

Tummy aches

I could not fall asleep yesterday. It was partially due to my nocturnalism and also cramps from TOM, but the kicker was the excruciating stomach pains that started around 3 am. OMG. I thought I was going to go insane. It was a combination of extreme hunger and just general crappiness. I'd kind of felt that way after eating some frozen meat about a week ago, but there didn't seem to be a reason for these. I mean, I did go out to Indian and it was sorta spicy, so that may be the cause, but that's never happened before. I think my stomach is just out of whack and not happy from my really poor nutrition choices lately. I've been cutting out junky meals and, since I'm still not into cooking, that means I just haven't been eating many good calories, or much at all, for that matter. Instead, I get my calorie numbers up through chocolate and cookies. Not good.

So today I decided to make a real meal to try to fix this stomach unhappiness. It hasn't really worked. After one fairly size-able portion, I was still starving so I waited about an hour to see if that would help. Nope, I was still very hungry and not feeling too hot, so I ate another portion. Now I'm not as hungry, but my stomach is still doing flips inside. I don't know what's going on. Obviously one day of eating well is not going to fix everything, but I figured it would help at least a bit. Nope.

Oy. I guess it's just made it clear to me that I can't treat my body like shit and should actually feed myself normally. So I've made a shopping list and a food plan for the next few days and should be somewhat set at least for this week. Next step is to try Activia again, since it's "clinically proven" to do something with your digestive system. It worked last time, so I'm going to give it another try. That, and I should be eating yogurt anyways, so I'm gonna try to kill two birds with one stone. Yay for being hopeful.

Changes

I've been pretty bad about working out/getting my exercise in every day. I definitely need to improve on that, as well as feeding myself properly. Although I've been getting calorie deficits practically daily, it's not the healthy way, so I need to work on that. I've been trying to make myself plan my meals for the week, but I keep putting that off til later and either eating out or reheating frozen foods. And that's just not gonna work for me. Another problem is when I go out and drink, I have a lot. For example, on Friday I had 8 beers or something? Granted, we started with Happy Hour at 5:30 and didn't finish til well past midnight, but still. That needs to stop for weight-loss reasons as well as my general health. I have been pretty good about only drinking once a week, so I'm glad that has improved. Yay for small victories!

Other than that, I think I'm going to change my weigh-in days to Wednesdays. Weekends are bad because I inevitably go out and then retain water/alcohol weight for a couple of days, which throws off my weigh-in. But Wednesdays should be far enough removed from weekend nights out, and not far into the week, that the likelihood of my drinking affecting my weight should be fairly small, at least compared to what it is now with Saturday weigh-ins.

That's all for now, I think. Tomorrow is a football day, with the two play-off games going on. I'm really only interested in watching one of them, so maybe during the other I'll got out for a run. I still haven't decided which week to start with for C210K, since I'm pretty sure the first one is too easy, so it's looking like week 3 for me. I'm so OCD with this that I feel like I have to have everything planned out for the whole program before I even start at the beginning, same goes for food planning. Like, if I don't plan my meals for the whole week then I definitely can't cook up something today because it's not on the plan and therefore it'll throw everything off. And that always holds me back. So I should just wing it for now, and adjust later.

Ok, off to bed.

This body's not made for dancing

Irish dance today was excruciatingly painful, not physically but emotionally/psychologically. I keep forgetting that dance studios have mirrors everywhere, and at the moment, I'm kind of disgusted seeing myself in the mirror. I never thought I was one of those people, until I took this class. Back to not choosing the right dance style, jumping up and down is not so good for my already shitty ankles. It's really fun and I'm happy to finally learn how to do this, but it's killing my feet from the pounding and I just plain suck. And I HATE sucking. I'm not used to it since I've been at least decent in every other sport I've tried. Not so much for Irish dancing, or racquetball, which is probably why I'm not bummed about missing those practices this semester.

Anywhos, I couldn't wait for class to be over cuz my feet kept getting lost to with all those moves. I feel like lady is going a bit too fast for our group, but at the same time, it's nothing so difficult that I couldn't practice at home. So maybe I should just do that and I won't feel so down during class. I guess that's my plan for this week. I doubt I'll stick with it, but might as well try.

I also need to move around more. I think tomorrow I'm going to start the Couch to 10K table thing I have on here. I might as well get into running since I have to begin to like it if I'm going to be doing the triathlon over the summer. Speaking of, I found out that they don't refund prices, but there's a very similar tri by the same company just outside of Vegas (like this one) held in October. So maybe I can convince my roommate that we'll have more money by then (and her birthday's the weekend before the other tri so that's added incentive) and all will be merry. We were supposed to go out to dinner tonight and I was gonna broach the subject then, but we didn't end up doing that so, as always, I'm putting it off for another day.

But for now, since I'm below my calorie balance by about 400 calories, I'm going to have a goodnight beer. Night!

I'm set

I think I've decided for sure to postpone the triathlon training for a few weeks. Vegas doesn't seem possible financially and mental health-wise, so for the sake of my sanity, I'm going to be a quitter and put off yet another thing I set out to do. Yes, I have no motivation.

Part of the reason (besides not wanting to blow $400 on something I have no desire to do) I'm backing out is because I'm just not accustomed to working out 6 times a week. Right now, there are so many things I want to do and have been doing that I don't want to have to worry about making up a workout because I needed a break or spent the day snowboarding. I'm not opposed to going to the gym/for a run/bike ride 6 times a week. That's cool, although I know I'm going to have to work up to it from about the 4 days of exercise I currently get, most of them not at the gym and not structured, but rather random sports/classes with friends. But the main point is that I'm too stressed out by this, logistically and monetarily, and therefore it's not fun.

Someone on 3FC said somewhere that motivation doesn't necessarily come before action and therefore one should force themselves to work out even if they're not motivated. I should really abide by that since it would make this Vegas training possible. I'm just not willing to do that quite yet. I don't want to constantly feel behind on my workouts and worried that I won't be able to finish the triathlon solely because I have other things going on in my life, such as soccer, or snowboarding, or broomball. Or a night out camping. The triathlon was supposed to be something that I did for fun and to give me a varied but structured workout plan that I could follow. Instead, it's this big ball of stress. And when I feel like I can't do something or have any sort of doubt in myself, I cave and quit altogether and think, "I may as well not even try." That's been the case here. I feel so overwhelmed, and I absolutely hate that feeling. It's also not very conducive to being positive and training hard to have fun. So yeah, I quit. At least for a little while.

Progress for real

I hit 217.5 today (again)! That's awesome since it probably means that that's my real weight, at least for now. I had that show up on Sunday, which was a nice surprise, but then on Monday I went to 219.5, half a pound more than I'd weighed in over the weekend. It didn't make sense til I remembered that I had had Safeway pizza the night before and the saltiness of it probably drove the weight up. But yesterday's beer had no effect on my weight. Or it did and I weigh even less than 217.5, which would be even more awesome. This is starting to make sense with the GWF numbers since I've had large deficits but not so much weight-loss. On that note, I need to start eating more daily since over-1000 calorie deficits are not healthy! Maybe that's why I've been so irritable, sad, and stressed lately. Or I'm just PMSing. Regardless, I can't make myself eat more when I've had 1600-1800 calories. I feel like that should totally be enough and I should treasure that deficit instead of killing it by stuffing my face more.

Anywhos, enough about numbers. I couldn't get to sleep last night, but was surprisingly perky this morning. That energy died by 2-ish and I took a nap from 3 to 7. Not a good idea since I already have problems sleeping as it is. But hopefully a large dose of melatonin in an hour or so will help overcome that. I wanna get up for work early enough tomorrow to be able to bike there and stay there, so as long as I'm out of bed by 9:30 I should be alright. Next step is getting up early enough for breakfast, but maybe that's asking too much. Lunch may have to be an Odwalla bar since I don't have anything cooked or made, but I may be able to borrow a bagel from my roommate and add some more substance than a 350 calorie energy bar. My tummy gets hungry when I have to think. And there's going to be a lot of thinking this week since I have to give my boss an update on something I haven't done quite yet but told him I did. Oops.

Why am I so lazy?

I don't understand why I don't get up off my butt and do something about hating myself. It's only about an hour of discomfort, if that, and afterwards I feel SO good. And I really need to do it so that I can finish this stupid triathlon. Ugh. Feeling down today, so I don't see myself actually doing anything about that. Instead, I will rant and mope.

Wrong side of the bed

I had every intention of doing 2 workouts today (well, not really, but I can keep telling myself that), but I didn't wake up in the happiest mood. And by that I mean I was rudely awakened by my roommate calling my phone from the living room asking if I was up. Really? Her reasoning: "If you didn't want to wake up then you wouldn't have answered the phone." Umm, if I didn't want to wake up then I would be SLEEPING, which is exactly what I was doing when you called. Am I being unreasonable to want to sleep til whenever I want? Maybe. I dunno.

Anywhos, now I'm pissed and, to grossly exaggerate, my whole day is ruined. That's how it works with me and waking up in not-so-favorable conditions. Hmf.

I really do have to make up a run and swim workout today. But, like I mentioned before, my heart is not in this triathlon. I have no desire to do anything, let alone blow all the money to go out to Vegas to get this thing accomplished. Why can't we do a Colorado one a few weeks later? It'll be so much cheaper (and I can keep putting off the training).

Oh well, I should just stop complaining and do something since all this is doing is getting me even madder and less-motivated.

Weirdness and water

I weighed myself this morning and I'm down to 217.5. Woohoo! I guess that kind of makes sense since I've been having an insane amount of calorie deficits daily this week, but to jump from 219.0 to 217.5 in a day is odd. I woke up feeling very dehydrated, so maybe that's what's behind the sudden weight-loss. Speaking of, I have no idea how/why I'm so dehydrated in the mornings. I've been drinking TONS of water so it makes no sense. Maybe it's so dry that I have to drink even more. I couldn't stand the taste of water (or lack thereof) yesterday, so instead I had Tang. I know, it's cheating, but I just couldn't have any more...

Other that that, I checked out last year's times for the tri and there are people who were very slow on the bike, taking over 2 hours to finish, so that makes me feel better about my 10 mph pace on this week's bikes. Granted, what we had here was relatively flat compared to Rage, but it's also 12 weeks out so there is definitely room for improvement. I have yet to go for a run, though, and that's becoming very problematic. It's the easiest workout to do out of the three, but I ABSOLUTELY HATE running. So instead of going for a jog, I spent all day watching the playoffs and eating chocolate cake batter. Mmmm...yummy. I just can't resist the stuff. I've had such bad chocolate cravings lately. So my weight should jump right back up to "normal" by tomorrow :)

Life is good :)

This week has been really active and stressful for me. Ay ay ay. I could write a novel. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I've been really serious about food logging and GWF stuff. I've also tried to do some strenuous activity everyday, partly because I really need to get my butt into gear for this triathlon, but also because I'm just sick and tired of being fat!

I've been really good, too, about what I put into my mouth. Since Sunday (I know, not that long, but I've just really started...again), I've kept my calorie intake below 1800 calories, with the exception of last night, but that's a different story that I'll mention later. AND I've had at least a 500 calorie deficit every day (again, except for yesterday). So this is awesome!

I went snowboarding today and somehow managed to be on the slopes until 4 pm. That NEVER happens. But I was so dog-tired at the end that I don't think I'll attempt that again. However, it was a perfect day and restored my love of being in the mountains. Last season, I was so over snowboarding that I didn't even want to get a pass this year. But finally I decided that if I didn't, I'd regret it, so I caved and forked over the money. Not only was it a great idea happiness-wise, but also weight-loss-wise since now, at 10:54 pm, I've burned 3810 calories. The day's not even over yet! And having only eaten 1709, I have an over 2000 calorie deficit. It may even be too big, but I wasn't about to stuff myself after working so hard all day. (I even turned down the chips and cookies at lunch in the lodge!) The deficit can also be attributed to Irish dance class, but that was only 250 and for an hour, so it's mostly snowboarding.

I'm pretty sure my perfect day had a lot to do with the mountain, which I'd never snowboarded before. The runs were perfectly steep and groomed, the weather was amazing, and it was just generally awesome. My only gripe is that my friends decided to climb up this hill for some better powder. Eww. I totally was not feeling the climb (at 11,500 feet!), so I thought the ride down would make up for my misery. NOPE! I fell and got buried in the powder, so I couldn't get up. No matter how hard I worked, I wasn't getting anywhere (I'm pretty sure some significant calorie burn happened then). At one point I was willing to throw myself at a tree so Ski Patrol could whisk me away, but I finally unburied myself and got down to the bottom of the run, praying that the next stop would be the lodge. I was so drained!

Anywhos, that's that. I got home, went to Irish dancing class (the first one of the session), and realized that a long, hilly bike ride + a full day of snowboarding should NEVER be followed by Irish dancing. Ouch. I'm going to feel it tomorrow.

Back to yesterday...

A friend is visiting for the week and yesterday we decided to hang out, have some beers, and play board games. Of course "some" beers turned into 5 beers and my will-power greatly diminished and I ended up stuffing my face with Cheez-Its and corn bread. Oy. And that is how I ate over 3000 calories yesterday. Epic fail! But I figure with all the hard work I've been putting in, one night of having fun and letting loose is not going to kill me.

I'd been wanting to weigh myself in the last couple of days, but I'd always forgotten to in the morning, essentially putting if off to the next day. Well, I remembered this morning, but because of all the water weight from the beer binge the night before, I was up a pound. Eww. I know that's not accurate because when I weighed myself two nights before, I was down a pound (at the end of the day!) so I have to wait for all this alcohol to leave my system before I can get an accurate weight. Unfortunately, tomorrow we're going to a concert, so Saturday's weigh-in is also tainted. Maybe my body can recover in two days and tomorrow will be good. Hopefully. I haven't looked that closely into how fast my body processes alcohol water weight. Now's a great time to start, though.

Ok, I'm rambling. I think I've covered all the topics I wanted to talk about and then some. Sorry for all the technical and detailed calorie mumbojumbo, but I'm really proud of myself and wanted to jot it down somewhere.

One last thing...

The one thing that I've been slacking on is the triathlon training, and that's also the one thing that I can't afford to be slacking on. Today was supposed to be a run day, but after the day's activities, I'm pooped. Maybe I can double up my workouts tomorrow by making up the running bit and doing the swimming as scheduled. The only real problem is that I've been putting off running for months now and it just so happens that the day that I go snowboarding is the day a run is scheduled. Coincidence? I think not!

Since I was gone all day, my roommate who I'm supposed to run the triathlon with in April, got in a huge workout, both running and swimming, even though she didn't have to do the swim part today. I'm super jealous because she's already in better shape than me (and much skinnier so she has less weight to carry around) and now she's getting extra workouts in. And I don't even wanna run this damn thing! I mean, I do wanna do the tri, but not this particular one. It's SUPER hilly (this guy who's a coach and major veteran said it's tough but doable...not something I wanna hear for my first attempt as couch potato to triathlete) and I'm so not prepared. I went on a bike ride the other day, rather flat and nothing compared to what we'll be facing in Vegas, and my average speed was 10.1 mph. At that rate, it's going to take me 2.5 hours to do the bike portion alone. That doesn't include the swim or the equally hilly 6.2-mile run. I keep telling her this but she says that I should stop looking at the posts and elevation profiles and just do it. Umm...I'm being realistic here. There is no way in hell I'll be able to finish this thing and I'm not about to go out there and fail. So that's been a sort of spat that has hampered my progress. My heart's just not in it and so I have no desire to even train. Ay ay ay. The stress...

I said I'd finish up about 3 paragraphs ago, so night!

3FC post to my BL loser team

I just posted an update to my BL team on 3FC and I figure it sums up my life and feelings pretty well right now. So here it goes:

I just got back into town on Saturday after spending the better part of 3 weeks visiting the folks for the holidays. And since then I've really ramped up the weight-loss plan.

I have a GWF, so I've been wearing it religiously again, and I recently got into SparkPeople, so I've also been diligently jotting down my food. It definitely makes me eat less for sure because I finally see how much junk I put into my mouth. Same goes for exercising (the eating less afterwards part), since I don't want to nullify all the progress I've made through torturing myself in the gym by eating "just one bite" of something I don't really want anyways. Next step is getting back to cooking, or more likely, learning to enjoy cooking.

So that's that. The triathlon training is in full swing, and I'm getting somewhat intimidated since I slacked off the first two weeks and now I'm that far behind. It wouldn't be a problem if I was already in shape since the first 6 weeks are designed for getting you into decent shape and the subsequent weeks are for building on that, but I'm essentially starting out as a couch potato. The good news is that I have other sports planned for the evenings, so that should add some extra conditioning into my morning workouts.

I guess because of that, I'm kind of worried that I'm spreading myself too thin at this point, and very scared that I won't be able to finish the tri at all. Since we've just started the official training, I think the magnitude of the whole thing has really sunk in and it's not a pipe dream anymore. And that's overwhelming. I'm going to see if I can possibly drop down to the next shortest race (about half of what I'm planning now) so that'll be a possibility if it all gets too stressful.

I guess I just have a lot on my plate, from work, to school, to activities, to life, and that's the complete opposite of what my life's been like lately. I mean, I spent 3 weeks lounging at home in Southern California. Working, but still lounging. And before that, I maybe had one to two things going on weekly. Now I'm up to 6 days a week, essentially going from 0 to 60, which will be a bit of an adjustment. But I think I'll like it. If not, I can always cut something out. And none of these things take more than an hour anyways, so it's not that big of a deal.

One day at a time

Being back in town has started off really good for me. I've been really good about resisting pretzels and other junk foods. We did go to Noodles yesterday and I ate 950 calories for dinner. Halfway through my plate, I thought that I should've ordered the small size because the regular was just so big, but instead of putting it aside and stopping, I continued stuffing my face. It was just soooo good. BUT since I hadn't eaten breakfast, I was still 700 calories below my burn. Yay in a not-so-healthy kind of way.

As for exercise, Sunday we went on a long bike ride, then swam, then biked some more. I was so exhausted that I couldn't even bring myself to post on here. Yesterday I planned an "off" day but got invited to broomball, and who can pass that up? We were supposed to go swim/run this morning before class, but neither of us wanted to get out of bed, so that didn't happen. Our house is just too cold, and the blankets are so warm... The alternative to that is swimming tonight, which at first I wrote off because I'm lazy and didn't wanna do anything (hence sleeping through our morning workout), but then I read the triathlon mentoring thread I belong to, and the mentor said I should consider switching down to the sprint since I'd voiced some concern about being ready for the Olympic distance in April. Well, that about sealed it and now I am doing the Oly FOR SURE! I will prove you wrong, buddy. Even if it kills me.

Our bike ride on Sunday was kind of depressing in that we did a 1-2% grade and I was DYING. Like, my lungs were on fire, my quads were exhausted, and I was miserable. The whole time I was thinking. how the hell am I going to make it up 4% grade for 2 miles biking and then run that same steepness? Ay ay ay! But I still have 3 months to train for this, and all I want to do is finish, so there is hope. And if I take it one day at a time, then I should be alright.

Physically, I felt soooo good after that workout on Sunday, but it was emotionally demoralizing. I couldn't make myself swim fast and stopped before I was technically finished with what we'd planned to do. I couldn't even keep up with Maggie, or maybe I just didn't want to. And the bike just hurt.

But today is going to be different. I hope, at least.

Disgust seems to be a pattern here...

I finally went to RoadRunner Sports to get my feet and run checked out in order to get good running shoes. I was never a big believer in getting fitted for shoes, thinking anything that fits my wide foot is good enough to buy, until my Achilles tendon was too sore to walk in the mornings after racquetball. That kinda opened my eyes. And now that I've committed to this triathlon (what was I thinking?!), I figure I'll be running a lot and and will need to get something that's supportive and pain free, hence the trip to Shoe Dog.

Anywhos, the process is kinda cool in that they look at how you push off when you're walking as well as studying your run frame-by-frame as you exercise on a treadmill. It was nice to get all that info, EXCEPT when I saw my fatty calves jiggling in slow-motion on the big screen. Man, was that embarrassing. It was almost as bad as running on that treadmill and hearing the echoes of it creaking and groaning throughout the store. Maybe I'm over sensitive when it comes to my weight, but really, that's wake-up call number 2 in just as many days.

You'd think I'd do something about this since I'm constantly embarrassed about being fat. Nope. I went out to dinner with my parents and stuffed myself with cheese, tortillas, and margaritas. I swear, being home is like a vacation from my diet/healthy lifestyle hopes. I keep telling myself that when I get back to Colorado I'll get back on track because it's easier to monitor what I put into my mouth there. I hope that's really the case.

P.S. We were talking about wetsuits on my triathlon forum thread, and I was voicing my concerns that by being a big girl with wide hips and big boobs (my way of saying I'm overweight without actually saying it) I wouldn't be able to find anything that would fit, especially considering the fact that most triathletes are long and lean. One lady, trying to convince me that there are suits out there for us girls with boobs, responded:

"I'm short and heavier (5'3" and 130 lbs)"

If that's heavy, then I'm screwed!

My mom fits into my jeans!

O. M. G. This has never happened before and it's actually quite embarrassing. My mom has always been way bigger than me and that's always kept me feeling better about myself. "At least I'm not as big as my mom." Not the case anymore. Granted, she's more of an apple shape while I'm a pear, so she's still bigger on top, but to have my butt be as big as my mom's is just plain scary. To give her credit, she's been on a pretty strict diet for the past few months and has lost about 20 lbs., so many props to her. But, it's still unacceptable for me.

I guess that's a huge wake-up call. Like I've said before, in my head I'm a lot skinnier than I actually am and I only see the "real" me when I look in the mirror or glance at pictures. But now, seeing my mom is a daily reminder of how far I've let myself go. And it's scary. So I really need to do something about this.

Of course, by that I mean have hot chocolate milk for breakfast and sit on my couch all day, but still, maybe it'll work as a mindset change. Diet starts on Monday, right?

Made the move

I've finally made the move to this place after spending all last night making it all pretty. Apparently my knowledge of HTML is very rudimentary but I can still get things changed and all that. Now that everything's all set here, I can start blogging about this weight-loss thing that I've started over and over again so many times and still gotten nowhere.

I'm still in California visiting the folks and for the first time ever, I think I should've gone back to Colorado rather than staying here for this extra week. Our triathlon training was supposed to start a week ago and I haven't done anything. A major part of that is my laziness, but spraining my ankle the day before New Year's really didn't help, considering the run is the part I'm most concerned about. I figure I can swim and bike ok, but running is going to be very difficult.

This triathlon is really starting to come up fast.