Prom!

My old rugby team holds a banquet each winter for everyone involved in the club: women, men, old boys, and high school players. It's rather formal and turns into a huge party, so we've affectionately named it Prom.

For the first time since I started going about five years ago, I was actually excited to wear a dress this year. I've never liked dresses, even when I was a "normal" size so this was a rather big achievement for me. I'm still not entirely happy with my body and how I look in dresses, but I put all that aside and enjoyed the evening.

Here are some pictures (I'm in the turquoise):

Overwhelmed with figuring out a training plan

Every time I restart an activity, I get overwhelmed with wanting to do it perfectly. For example, if I'm going to ride my bike, I feel the need to get the right combination of intervals and long rides to increase both my endurance and my speed. I also have to balance that with a running training plan to increase my fitness for refereeing. All of that makes for a very full exercise calendar that I know I won't be able to stick with. So something has to go.

Most of this "stress" is due to me not wanting to lose any of the fitness and muscles I've worked so hard to gain. I love the way my quads and my calves look right now and I feel like I'm losing some of that muscle definition because I'm not doing the things I was doing to get that, namely biking up ridiculously steep mountains several times a week.

However, I know that with this weather, it's not feasible to keep up the training regimen I had in June or July. I'm lucky if I get one good biking day a week and I don't want to waste it on doing NCAR repeats, because they're not all that fun and I go really slowly. I'd rather be out on the open road enjoying the wind going through my hair and seeing the mountains in the background.

The solution to all this is to use the off-season to build up my running base for spring rugby season, and enjoy the few nice days we'll have to ride my bike on the open road. No stressing about doing the right type of runs or exercise, but instead focusing on getting outside and moving. Runners have nice quads too, right? So all won't be lost by dropping biking for a season.

I still need to lose a few pounds so until I'm super lean, I won't be at my peak running fitness anyways. I might as well enjoy my bike rides as respites from sprint workouts instead of stressing over getting them perfectly right.

Continuing on when I'm content with my size

I'm currently at a weight and size that I find somewhat acceptable. I'm just below my lowest weight in college, but I'm significantly thinner because I have more muscle than I did back then. I consistently fit into size 12 pants and small/medium t-shirts, so it's not a bad place to be.

As a result, it's been really hard to stay focused with my exercise and calorie counting. I could be happy the way I am right now, which is what makes continuing on so difficult. But when I was this weight in college, I thought I needed to lose about 20 pounds. So clearly I'm just content with my size when compared to what I was last year (225 lbs). But if I were to look at my weight objectively then I know I would still like to be thinner and leaner.

This doesn't mean that I've been stuffing my face with chocolate, ice cream, and beer (with the exception of Halloween). I've been pretty good about controlling my cravings. But I've consistently been eating 1,800+ calories each day, which is more than the 1,500 I strive for daily. Additionally, I haven't made much effort to keep a consistent exercise routine. All of that has resulted in me not losing any weight.

For the past couple of months when I've stalled in weight-loss, I would tell myself that "I'll get back on the wagon tomorrow." But tomorrow has been nearly every day and I haven't changed anything. It's so easy to get back to my old habits of putting this thing off for weeks and months at a time when I'm decently happy with the way I look. the fact that I've been getting lots of compliments about my size doesn't help with finding motivation to go on.

This one garnered comments such as, "Looking GOOOOOOOOD!! So Fit and trim - oh la la."
I don't think it's that spectacular (look at that left thigh!) but multiple people have commented on it so maybe I'm being too critical.

I need to put my foot down and get serious about this because there is no ideal time to lose weight. There will always be something that gets in the way, whether it's rugby season and thus lots of drinking on weekend nights or bike rides that end at a bar.

Luckily, there's a big formal banquet in about a month that provides good incentive to slim down and tone up. I already look fabulous in some of the dresses I've tried on but I want to look even better. Mostly, I've needed a reason to get my butt to the gym to tone up my arms because my bingo wings have got to go. Dresses at a formal banquet are the perfect incentive for that!

Back in the saddle

I took the last month or so "off" from losing weight in that I only exercised when I felt like it instead of feeling the need to get 5-6 days of exercise each week. I still averaged about 4 days of working out during that time so it's not too bad. I was just sick of everything and didn't feel like pushing myself too hard.

During that time, I got pretty burned out about road biking and since that's been my most frequent form of exercise, it was clear I needed to continue with it otherwise I would stop losing weight. But I didn't want to ride anymore! A conundrum, I tell you.

So I took a couple of weeks off from the bike. And when I finally went back to it, I loved every minute in the saddle. I eventually realized that all the rides I had been doing were either balls-to-the-wall or insanely uphill. There were no "fun" rides where I could simply enjoy being on the road on my bike. Riding became a burden.

My first ride back was along the flats near my house at whatever pace I wanted at the time and it was awesome. I eventually returned to riding hills on Wednesdays with a group I'd been riding all summer. And even though we rode straight uphill for 6 miles, I had a blast, as evidenced by my genuine smile in the picture below.

I'm in the middle in the green.

During my break from riding, I did a bit of running to keep somewhat in shape. I went for a run with The Roommie and we averaged a 9:30 minute/mile pace for 3 minute run/1 minute walk intervals.* I didn't ever dread having to run once the walking part ended, which is a HUGE improvement in my run endurance and state of mind. I think I may actually enjoy running now. Eww.

I was also having some knee issues after an unfortunate game of kickball which resulted in cutting back on my exercise. Everything turned out to be fine and my doctor said I can exercise through the pain without messing my knee up any further so I'm back to full force.

In between the MRI scans and doctor's visits, when the prognosis for my knee wasn't clear, I stressed. I was worried that I'd have to either suffer through a season of rugby on a bum knee and thus postpone the hypothetical surgery until November, or I'd have to sit out the season altogether and have the surgery now. Since I've recently begun getting respect from the refs, I didn't want to disappear for three months and lose all that so I was stressing out a lot. I also couldn't really turn down a trip they had offered me to Minnesota since I don't know when that'll come up again. But all is well now.

As they say, "Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, then it's not the end."

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*I still don't like running for long periods of time, so when I do go for "long" runs I turn them into intervals. Instead of running straight for 3 miles, I run 3 minutes and walk 1 minute. This way, I have something to look forward to during the three minutes of torture.

Keeping on my run fitness

Since I didn't have a rugby game assigned this weekend, I didn't do any running during the week (no fire under my ass/fear of God incentive). Except someone has fallen ill and I asked for the game to be reassigned to me. So tomorrow I need to be fit. Oops.

This teaches me to put off running only for weeks during which I have game assignments. Turns out I should be working on my run fitness weekly because you never know if something will come up.

The good thing is that I got a bike ride in on Monday and yesterday, did TRX on Tuesday (from which I'm still feeling the soreness), and I may do another ride today. So I haven't been sitting on my ass entirely all week. Just a little bit.

I was going to do some hill work today but that may have to be postponed until Sunday so I don't have dead legs during tomorrow's game. I think the alternative will be a regular somewhat hilly ride instead of the 3-mile hill repeats I had originally planned.

Sexism in rugby

I've been playing rugby for nearly 10 years now and I've always known that women weren't respected by the men as equals, but it never directly affected me until I began refereeing. And now that I blatantly see that the men are getting more assignments than me simply because I'm female, I'm getting really pissed off.

I love refereeing. I'm not that good at it and it stresses me out sometimes, but it's really fun. Part of me believes that the scheduler won't give me more assignments because I'm new and I suck. But the only way to get better is to do more games, which I can't do if I'm not assigned to them. It's kind of like the chicken or the egg scenario. Can't do one without the other. It really sucks.

Mostly, I'm mad because having game assignments has pushed me to go running more than I normally would. It put the fear of God into me with regards to my run fitness and not having any games for a couple of weeks makes me more likely to sit around and get fat. And I need that motivation to get moving otherwise my weight-loss will stall, and I don't want that.

I know that I need to lose weight for myself and not rely on being scared into it for refereeing. I think I'm also being discriminated against because of my weight and perceived lack of fitness so the thinner I get the better my chances of getting assignments. So that's some more incentive to work out.

In that respect, it's getting much warmer outside and, more importantly, drier (meaning no snowfall hopefully) so I'll get on my bike a lot more. Biking is usually how I lose the most weight so not having the need to run all the time gives me the time to get more rides in, which is good. And much more enjoyable since I like to bike much more than I like to run. Like, WAY more.

Considering that, I don't always want to go for a bike ride, but I should be exercising 5-6 times a week. So for those times when my bike seems unfun which doesn't happen often, I can go on a run instead. I stopped doing Couch to 10k after week 5 because it was getting boring and really awful mentally, but I've started running hills and intervals, which give me more bang for my buck. I get exhausted quickly but it only lasts for 30 minutes or so and supposedly those types of runs are the best way to increase speed, which is what I really need to work on, more so than endurance, for reffing.

Back to refereeing complaints, I've noticed that I get nearly all the girls' game assignments so hopefully when the high school girls season rolls around in the fall I'll get more stuff. And this scheduler is much better than the last one in that he has been giving me some games when the last guy didn't give me any. So I guess there's improvement.

And I have been getting a game a week, even though most of my mine have been snowed out (others' haven't because it's dependent on the fields and not the weather) so I haven't actually done all that many games. Most other people get 2-3 games a week, which I think might be too much for me and I'd get burned out. So I'm somewhat happy to be getting one a week but I also wish I was able to do them and they would stop getting canceled. Ay ay ay!

There's only one other girl/woman in the referee society and she's really good so she gets lots of assignments. I asked her how I can get more matches and she said just to be patient. There's nothing else I can do (I've already asked the scheduler for more matches) so I should just wait it out and do well with what I'm given. She said that she gets lots of games despite the scheduler being sexist because other people notice her talent and recognize her skill level. I've gotten really good reviews from both of my evaluators on the two games I've done (yeah, the season is almost over and I've only done TWO games...bullshit!). So I'm hoping that this gets noticed by someone else and they put pressure on the scheduler to give me more matches. That's my pipe dream.

My other main concern is that there's a developmental committee that identifies up-and-coming refs and gives them additional guidance. It's like a fast-track for awesomeness and I'd like to get on it. But if I can't get matches and I can't get respect from one of the main guys in the society then how the hell am I supposed to get noticed by these other old white dudes?! It's so incredibly frustrating.

I think the moral of this whiny post is to focus on my weight-loss and get to an acceptable/normal weight so the referee society has no reason to discriminate against me...except for my gender, but there's nothing I can do about that. At least that's what I'll keep telling myself so the anger subsides a little bit.

Lastly, here's a photo of me in action from my last game:

I can now warm up in my warm-up pants

I finally cleaned out and organized all the clothes in my closets and wardrobes because it was getting out of hand. I had stuff stashed in drawers and hanging up in the closet, most of it too small and unwearable. So I devised a new system for storage, grouped my shirts by size, and got everything put away very nicely.

After three days of doing this and trying on a bunch of shirts to see if they fit, I decided to give a pair of warm-up pants a try to see if I could actually get them over my butt. When I received them as part of a team kit a couple of years ago I was ~15 pounds heavier than I am right now and although I could get them on, they weren't comfortable at all. You could tell they were stretched tight across my thighs and I could barely move without feeling like they would rip at the seams (they aren't made of stretchy fabric), which defeated their purpose of being for warming up prior to practice or a game.

But today, they fit almost perfectly! They're not exactly the loosest pants I own, but I feel like I can run around and not bust out of them, which is progress.

I honestly can't notice a difference in my body size even though the scale is moving so it was nice to see that I am in fact getting smaller even if it's not yet obvious to my eye. At the same time, after looking at all the awesome shirts I recently bought that I love, I'm kind of bummed I'm getting smaller because these clothes I have now won't fit for very long.

Since I will continue to get thinner (remaining at this weight is NOT an option) I'm just going to have to give them as much love as I can now, which means ratty shirts are out and awesome shirts are in. This is yet another reason to start caring about how I dress instead of wearing baggy pajama-y clothes all the time, so I've been wearing my nice sweaters practically every day. The shirts are one thing, but sweaters from my mom are something I will miss.

The bright side is I will soon get to wear all the shirts from several years ago that I also love but can't fit into anymore. And I'm sure when I revamp my wardrobe to accommodate my smaller size there will be just as many awesome shirts that I will fall in love with. And hopefully my mom will be so ecstatic about my weight-loss that she will buy me more soft sweaters.

Trial by fire

I started refereeing rugby recently because I can't keep losing more of my left meniscus and this seems like the best way to stay involved in the sport without having to undergo any more surgeries. I asked the scheduler to assign me some games for the upcoming season and so far most of them have been boys and girls high school matches, which is typically how you begin your refereeing career. But then I got the schedule for the second half of March and lo and behold, I'm reffing a Division II senior women's match. And by "senior" I don't mean the women that spend their days in Florida playing shuffle board, but more like the people my age: Too old for college rugby but too young for the Olde Girls. They're still pretty good.

Let's just say that I'm a little terrified, only if "a little" means "incredibly". Not only am I not comfortable reffing such a high-paced game that is going to be full of infractions, but I am not in shape to run for 80 minutes straight. Typically that comes out to about 3-4 miles, with stoppages and play staying in one spot, but that is still way more than I've been running recently. I think I'm up to a little over 2 miles at an 11+ mile/minute pace, but that includes stopping to walk every 3 minutes. In short, I'm nowhere near OK to referee that match.

It's a month away so I still have time, but I definitely have the fear of God in me. Prior to going to visit my parents last week, I was so done with running. I think most of this was the fear of suddenly having to run for 3 minutes straight (I'm back to doing Couch to 10k and had just begun Week 3), but I just wasn't having it. I probably could've walked faster than I was running at the time.

But then California happened, and the sunshine and warmth and vegetation in said sunshine and warmth somehow made me start running again. It actually began to be...fun. I switched up the music on my iPod and since I was at sea level my pace dramatically increased, both of which contributed to this fun version of torture.

Then I came back to snowy Colorado and didn't feel like doing anything all over again. My knee was bugging me because I had been running on concrete in California so that was a way to justify sitting on the couch, as were the six inches of snow we got a couple of days ago.

This laziness lasted until I got the "You're reffing the women's match in a month" email. And so today I went for a run over snow-covered trails in the frigid temperatures. If not for the burrito from lunch that kept wanting to come back up, I think I could've had fun and run a decent pace. But I had pushed myself too hard on the first interval (9:47 min/mile for three minutes) and every time I had to run after that I wanted to vomit.

Other than that, it was beautiful outside and with this game hanging over my head I have suddenly found motivation to push myself while running, which is something I've struggled with for a while. I can torture myself to near-exhaustion on the bike but for some reason as soon as I get winded when running I just give up. But I want to be a good referee and for that to happen I need to be in running shape. Unfortunately the only way to do that is to run more and harder so it's a necessary evil.

Moral of this very long story: Don't eat burritos before running, and fear of failure is a great motivator.

Feeling discouraged yet again

I just got a text from The Roommie and it's somewhat disheartening:
"This is the most awkward proctor's night. The coaches are talking about recruiting another loose head and none of the team is talking to me. :("

Let me translate. Proctor's is a dive bar next to our practice field, and loose head is the position both I and The Roommie play. I actually only started playing loosehead about a month ago because my usual position is now occupied by one of the coach's favorites. Well, that's not entirely why she's starting all the time, because she is fairly good. But the fact that she's known the coach for eight years and moved out here to play for her sure doesn't help the situation.

Anywhos, I'm discouraged by that text because it's sad to hear you suck. Like, really suck. It's also another confirmation that I'm a huge outsider on this team, as if trying to hang out and talk to people but getting ignored instead wasn't indication enough. But that's a story for another day.

So I feel as if my plan to get super fit and super strong for the upcoming season is not going to be enough to get a starting position. At all. I just feel like all this is hopeless and I should just quit and wallow in my misery like I have been doing for years now.

But then I have to remember that this summer's plans are not just for rugby. Getting fit is not just for rugby. I've wanted to be thinner way before I started playing this sport so my goals shouldn't change just because there's a small kink in my plan for world domination. Well, at least on the rugby pitch.

And even if I'm not a starter on a super awesome team, I will still be thinner and fitter and (hopefully) happier. That, and I can't predict how good I'll be 50 pounds lighter. I mean, I was an All American (Second Team, but All American nonethess) when I wasn't exactly "thin" for my height. So who knows what will happen when I'm actually fit?

Blast from the past: 165+ pounds of awesomeness.

My whole goal for this summer was to come back in August and have everyone say, "Wow." I want to blow their minds by my hard work during our off-season. I want to show them what kind of rugby player I can be when I don't have all those extra pounds of padding weighing me down.

So let that be my motivation. Regardless if I make the starting side or not, I want to know that the only reason I didn't is because my skills aren't as good as someone else's, and not because my weight is slowing me down. I want to realize my full potential. Is that too much to ask?

Exhausting weekend, now get back on the wagon!

The rugby game went really well. They even got some shots of me running.

But with it being the first warm day in months and also just being Colorado, it was super dry and thus super exhausting to run at all. I had parched lips within 30 seconds of stepping out onto the field. Yikes! So yeah, I need to get in better shape.

In the end, I got to play about 23 minutes, which was plenty, and I had an absolute blast. The Roommie and I devised a running plan to help us get fitter and so far it hasn't worked. Well, it's mostly because I haven't been planning or scheduling the rest of my life accordingly and thus need to wake up early to do homework/study instead of the planned run. So this week's plan has been shifted by a couple days and hopefully I'll be able to keep up with it all.

The same goes for food. I had a menu planned out and everything for the week's meals but then we had a potluck on Friday for the team and it all went downhill from there. It's like a bad circle of messing up...I don't eat well if I don't plan out meals, but if something throws my meal plan off, then I stop eating well and it all goes to shit.

The moral of the story is that I need to get my life in order and everything will go from there. I do really well when I have a routine and everything planned out hour by hour almost. Or at least some sort of plan will do. (On that note, I'm worried about the month of May when school will be done and I won't really have any sort of schedule. Even rugby is done. That leads to sleeping until 1 pm and wasting my life away. No bueno.)

And here's a parting shot of me picking up the ball and knocking a whole bunch of girls over.

Unfortunately that last part is not pictured, just the part where my gut seemingly gets in the way of bending over. Damn painted on jerseys...they accentuate all the curves I don't want people to see!

Down a bit in poundage and up a bit in happiness

I'm back to a 2-0-something kind of weight (207.0 to be exact), "dropping" four pounds since Monday. I think a lot of that had to do with TOM so I'm not really celebrating at all since I didn't have to do much to lose this weight, besides wait out a natural biological process. But it's still nice to see that I haven't gained any weight since my last weigh-in, and actually lost a couple pounds since my last legitimate weigh-in. I suspect I'm actually even lower than that since I've been feeling super dehydrated lately, so I've been drinking a lot of water the last couple of days to try to get myself to where I need to be. In fact, just writing that made me reach for my water bottle and take a long swig of it. You should too.

As for rugby...oh, rugby. We have a HUGE game this weekend against a spectacularly good team and my original goal for the season was to start in this game. Well, I'm not and I'm supremely happy about that. I mean, I would love to be good enough to start, but I know my fitness is not even close to that needed for an 80 minute intense match. So my amended goal was to be rostered (a substitute) and that's exactly what happened, which is awesome. I do hope I get to play a few minutes, although I don't think I'll be put in unless someone gets hurt, which is a bummer.

The good news on that front is I've beat out one of the girls I didn't think I could for a spot on the roster, and my coach has been training me in a new position, which would give me more depth. She also does think I'm rather good and so there's hope for me to make the starting side a few times next season if I keep improving (and in my opinion) get my fitness up and lose some poundage.

BUT, I'm kind of worried about the girl that's in my current position because she's super good, super fast, super strong, and everyone loves her. So there's no real hope of regaining my spot back, I think. Not only would I have to spend the summer in the gym (in addition to swim, bike, run training, work, and school, and some summer relaxation) to get stronger and fitter, but I would also have to learn a whole new position so that I don't have to compete against her.

If you're thoroughly confused about positioning, I'm mostly talking about the scrum. I usually play #3 on this team, have played #2 on other teams, and am now training to be #1 (at the top of the picture #1 is above the white #2, actually to the left of him).

The two positions, #1 and #3, are very similar except #3 goes into a scrum with both shoulders in, while #1 only has his right shoulder in and pushing. And that's what's been throwing me off. That, and binding on with my arm in the right spot.

Images courtesy of The Telegraph and Wikipedia, respectively.

How rugby relates to weight-loss

I'd been really discouraged lately in the rugby practice and triathlon training and general life exercise departments. It seemed that everything was hopeless and impossible to achieve. There are some really good girls on the team that I wouldn't be able to edge out for a position in the starting side. I didn't have enough hours in the day to get in all the swims, bike rides, runs, lifting, plyometrics, and HIITs that are necessary for triathloning and playing rugby. And that doesn't even include work and school. And lastly, 80 pounds is a lot to lose.

But then I had an unexpected talk with my rugby coach and all became clear. She doesn't think I'm too short to play a few of the positions I was worried about being competitive for (now I can play 3 positions, instead of just 1 that I previously thought). She also thinks I'm doing really well and improving steadily. And I got the roster for Saturday's game and I'm subbing in for a very important game. So instead of being completely discouraged about rugby, I am now hopeful that with enough hard work, I can make accomplish all of my dreams.

How does this relate to weight-loss, you ask? Well, part of the reason my skills aren't where they used to be is because I'm not fast enough to get to where I need to be to demonstrate my knowledge of rugby. I don't have the strength or endurance to hit as hard as I'd like to because I also have to run for 80 minutes. So it becomes a trade-off: don't hit as hard so I can run a bit longer. And a lot of these problems have to do with carrying too much weight on my gut, thighs, back, you name it.

After the talk with my coach, I had a huge epiphany and my hope was restored in this whole losing weight process. If I could commit to running/exercising and losing weight like I would like/need to, it would benefit so many different aspects of my life. I could run faster in rugby and therefore be better. I could keep up with all the fast people in triathlons. And I would be much more confident in my appearance, which would increase my self-esteem exponentially.

I don't know why I thought losing weight was stupid, impossible, and pointless. Obviously it's not going to happen overnight, but the benefits of it are numerous and the hard work is totally worth it!

Illness comes at inopportune times, and other complaints

Rugby practice started last week and my tournament is only a week away. Have I done any running lately? Nope, not at all. And that means next weekend is going to suck. Big time. If it wasn't an away tourney where plane tickets are required and wasn't taking place in my hometown, I probably wouldn't go because I'm so out of shape and don't want to leave a bad first impression with my coaches. BUT, I'm really looking forward to seeing my parents and don't really want to pay a butt-load to change flights so I guess I'm going home in a week. And huffing and puffing on the rugby pitch.

In preparation for this tournament, and the rugby season in general, I was planning on starting C210K again (for the 4th time now, I think). And then I got sick. I'm not talking about the sniffles or a slight headache akin to a hangover. This was more of a I-really-should-sleep-in-and-take-care-of-myself kind of thing where I had a hard time breathing after walking 5 minutes to class, and even when I could breathe it hurt a whole lot. And thus C210K is postponed for another day or two, until I can breathe semi-normally again.

So now I'm sitting on the couch, studying and munching on some junk food (because that's what I do to make studying for biology bearable) and regretting all the weeks since Thanksgiving that I spent doing what I'm now doing instead of making running and getting fit a priority. If I'd stuck with the plan back then, not only would I be running 10ks right now, but more importantly, I'd be 200 lbs instead of the 211-212 I'm at right now. And that's with a conservative estimate of 1 lb./week loss, which is much slower than what I usually lose at when exercising regularly.

I should be motivating myself to get fit instead of beating myself up about the past. Instead, I go on and on about missed weight-loss opportunities and dreaming of being skinny. Obviously that's never helped, but I keep doing it. I mope and tell myself that it's impossible for me to be thin. But it's not! I know so many people in my real life (not even counting the ones I've met online) who have set their minds to changing their lives and have succeeded. My mom is one of those examples. My cousins are another. So obviously it's not genetically impossible. I should get the hint.

But as I mentioned in the last post, I can't keep up with calorie counting. It gets too overwhelming. But without it, I eat whatever I want and don't hold myself accountable for what goes into my mouth, which is my downfall. I've thought about doing a generalized calorie counting kind of thing where I round up my meals, but I think not having an accurate count of what I eat would drive me more nuts than having to input every nutritional label for every ingredient in my meals.

Yup, I just came up with another excuse for why I can't calorie count and thus can't lose weight. How pathetic. Instead of making lots of changes at once and focusing on the negatives, I'm going to try one thing at a time, and remind myself of the positives. After-all, my now early-morning swimming routine (yes, it's a routine!) started when I forced myself to get out of bed at 5:30 one day after falling asleep at 3 am. If I can keep up with something that goes so much against my sleep clock, I can do practically anything.

So...the positives:

1. I've made biweekly early morning swims a routine, even if getting out of bed that early is a struggle. Every. Single. Time.
2. I now eat breakfast every day. And I feel weird on the very few days that I skip it. This did not used to be the case, and I could go hours before putting anything in my mouth (then I'd eat unhealthily, but that's another story). Now I have to eat breakfast otherwise my day is off. And I get up early to make sure this happens. Weird.
3. I've lost over 10 pounds since September, part of it over the holidays when I wasn't exercising or calorie counting, but simply watching what I eat and trying not to over-eat. Not much of an accomplishment at my weight or that span of time, but I haven't really stuck with a workout or eating plan. I've just cut down on beer and junk food. And what a difference that has made!
4. I lost 5 pounds in the span of 10 days when I was calorie counting and swimming twice a week, meaning that if I keep my exercise routine the same as it is now and simply start being accountable for what goes in my mouth I will lose really quickly.
5. I learned to enjoy cooking, and started looking forward to eating left-overs.* I've made new recipes part of the weekly rotation, and I also can almost replicate my mom's delicious soups. Next up is learning her meaty meals.

The end. And now I try to apply this positive attitude to sticking with my resolutions.

*To give this accomplishment some background info, I used to not be able to eat left-overs. Like, they repulsed me, especially the ones that coagulated when put in the fridge and didn't really un-coagulate when reheated. I've somewhat gotten over that, but I still can't eat certain things.

Runner's high? Not quite...

Within the last two weeks I've really started following the Couch to 10k (C210K) program. And surprisingly, I've stuck with it! Although I couldn't really run this weekend because I was resting my ankle (the one I drunkenly injured almost four weeks ago), I really wanted to get out there. Today, on the other hand, I had no desire to go, but I had to.

You see, I'm doing the Tough Mudder: Austin race on January 29th and it's going to kick my butt if I don't get training. And since I'm essentially going from sitting on the couch to a 10-mile muddy obstacle course designed by British Special Forces, there is some fear and fire under my butt. So I've made an effort to get out there four times a week, minimum.

(The C210K Program is designed for three runs a week, but I don't have enough time, that is weeks, to finish it and get up to 10 miles by January 29th, so I decided to amend it and run four times a week instead. Shouldn't be too much of a biggie and hasn't been so far.)

My only issue so far (besides some lack of motivation) has been the ankle injury and now possibly knee pain. I don't know if the knee is due to compensating for the ankle or a nagging, recurring old rugby injury, but it has me somewhat worried. It could also be my shoes, which are fairly old and have taken their share of abuse, so I'm going to go to the running store this week and get fitted for a proper pair of shoes. I figure with my crappy ankles and surgically repaired knee (the gifts that rugby keeps on giving), $100 is not too bad of an investment in new and good running shoes.

Another problem could be running on concrete, which I've read is REALLY bad for your joints, so I may switch to asphalt (that is, the road) as often as possible. Lately I've been running up and down our quiet street, so I should be ok with cars, but I don't know what I'll do once the distances pick up. I've read that grass is supposedly perfect as a running surface as are trails, but I don't trust my ankles that much yet. I should work on strengthening them when I'm at home watching TV.

Wow, now I sound like an injured train wreck. It's actually not that bad, I just like to dwell on things.

As for eating...well, I haven't been doing too well. BUT, I also haven't been eating out nearly as much. I've just been cooking and eating enormous portions of beef stew and burgers, which is not so good for the calorie intake. So even though I've been burning a minimum of 2500 calories daily, I still haven't lost any weight. That could be because I've been drinking a lot lately and thus getting way more calories in that way as well as holding on to water for the daily weigh-in. So I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow and see where I'm at. Hopefully it's less that 217, because that was my weight a couple weeks ago and according to my GWF, I should be down at least a pound or two.

So here's to hoping!

Post-tri life changes

Ever since the tri this weekend, I haven't been me, in a good way. I've been getting up at an adult hour every day and going to bed before midnight (although I don't fall asleep til 1 at least...damn insomnia). More specifically, I've been FORCING myself to go to bed before midnight. But it feels so good!

I've also been craving exercise and trying to get something in each day. My beer consumption has gone way down, partially because those calories just aren't worth it. We had a rugby tourney this past Saturday and while everyone was getting blitzed off free beer, I didn't have a drop. Part of that was having to do a tri the next day, but most of the reasons were because I just didn't want it. Same with going out later that day.

I have a soccer game tonight and it's pretty early so we'll probably stay after and hang out at the bar. Usually that means I get completely blitzed, but I'm not feeling it again. WTF. What is wrong with me?

That'll probably change once we actually get there and beer is offered, but for now, that's my reasoning. I need to save myself (and some calories) for this weekend when the rugby team is working the beer tent and beer flows a-plenty. That should be absolutely ridiculous!

Craving exercise

I think it's because I've been getting up so late that I feel so unaccomplished unless I get out of the house. Or maybe I just spend too much time at home and need to leave once in a while. Regardless of the reasons, the last couple days I've been craving exercise. I really wanted to do something today, but wasn't feeling the run. I think I still have an aversion to running form all the years of it being used as punishment in soccer. But now, I'm just bored when I run. So instead of sitting on my butt, like I would normally do, I went to rugby practice because I NEEDED to run around a bit.

So it looks like times they are a-changin' when it comes to my laziness. Yay :)