Another way of saying "When do I stop?"

Note: This post was published a couple of months after the two preceding it ("Brain catching up to the body" and "When do I stop?") even though it was written at the same time as the others. I had a mini crisis during that time when I was trying to figure out my end point. I thought I should publish this post as well, even if it is a bit redundant, because it does touch on some points the other posts don't.

For the past week I've been in the 140s (!!!), meaning I have less than 10 pounds to lose until I reach my original goal weight of 140 pounds. That's insane to me because I really don't think I'm anywhere close to my goal.

I still see myself as "big", not necessarily fat anymore but definitely not the fit person I imagined I'd be at this weight. I don't know why I thought I'd look "good" because 140 lbs is only 7 pounds within the "normal" BMI category, so I'm cutting it pretty close. Although I still have 9 pounds to go until I hit that goal, I don't think I'll be satisfied once I reach 140.

This became very evident to me when I watched the video from a recent rugby match I refereed. I looked so stocky in the shots:

I'm in the yellow.

I love how muscular my quads are, even though they're somewhat atrophied from their peak (damn fat season!), but they're still big and defined. Mostly, I wish I was taller so I wouldn't be so compact and my muscles would spread out over a longer frame. Alas, I can't change my height but I can still do something about my goal weight.

The Roommie keeps saying that I'm tiny, which is true when compared to the person I was 1.5 years and 75 pounds ago. I still don't see it which is why I'm convinced I need to keep losing weight. My brain has yet to catch up to my current size. Even though I see the thigh gap (my thighs don't really rub together anymore) and the size of my clothes, I still don't think I'm normal. So I want to keep going.

At the same time, I'm tired of "dieting", even though I always say I'm not on a diet. Most days, I carefully watch what I eat and even if I have a full day of rugby or do a long bike ride, I still feel guilty if I consume more than 1500 calories. That's not normal. I should be able to eat 2000+ calories on those days.

As a result, I've been looking forward to stopping with this madness in the very near future (9 weeks to be exact), but it looks like I'll have to keep going for a little while longer. Since I'm already in this weight-loss mindset, it'd be a shame to quit now instead of trying to see if I can reach a weight I'm happy with.

So when do I stop? What weight/size/body type is good for me?

Again, this goes back to The Roommie. She recently commented that she used to think that I had a large frame because of my size. But as I've shed all these pounds, it's becoming clear to her that my frame is actually much smaller. She also said that she doesn't think I'll be happy until I'm lean and toned, which the more I think about it, the more I agree with her.

So the new goal is probably going to be 125 - 130, which should give me a lean and fit body. At least that's the hope.

P.S. I just looked at the fat percentage of my legs and I'm at 22.5%, which puts me in the fitness category and gives me a lean mass of 113.5 pounds. In order to reach 125 lbs at the fitness category of fat % (I don't think I'll comfortably maintain "athlete" status), I would have to lose 13 pounds of lean mass, and more fat, of course. Even for a goal weight of 140 pounds, I'd have to lose a few pounds of lean mass.

So dropping from my high of 117 pounds of lean mass in November is simply not sustainable for the weight I want. Now I don't feel so bad about my leg muscles atrophying during fat season. Happy days!

When do I stop?

This is a continuation of the previous post I wrote about not feeling normal-sized even though I'm only a few pounds away from being in the normal BMI category. I've been very unsatisfied that all the work I've put into losing weight hasn't made me much happier with regards to body.

Someone on the 3 Fat Chicks forum wrote to another person who was having the same feelings of dissatisfaction that I've been having. She said, "I'm guessing the "fat feeling" is likely less "I look like [an] elephant" and more "I'm not where I want to be" which can feel just as awful." She is absolutely correct.

Friends say that I'm small and that I look good, but I can't get over the size of my legs and the droopiness of my stomach. I thought I'd be a lot leaner and thinner at this size, but alas I still have plenty of visible fat on me. In my mind, I don't look good and I don't think the extra 8 pounds that I still have to lose to actually reach my goal weight will fix all of that.

As a result, I've been thinking about amending my goal to 125 - 130 pounds in order to reach a leaner physique. The only drawback to dropping my goal weight further is that I'm already wearing size small clothes. Losing even more weight will put me into the x-small category and make it difficult to find stuff that fits and looks good. After-all, part of the reason I wanted to lose weight was so I could buy clothes because I liked them and not because they were the only things that fit. I don't want to go back to that feeling, just on the other side of the spectrum.

The Roommie recently said that she doesn't think I'll be happy until I'm lean and she definitely has a point. I want to have less fat and more muscle, be even leaner than I currently am. However, that sort of thinking is worrying because I'm always going to have fat somewhere on my body. If I continue focusing on that, then I won't ever be happy with myself. That's just not healthy and is definitely not the way I want to live my life.

If you look at the last sentence of the "About me" tab that I wrote when I first began this journey several years ago, it says:

"I don't need to be "hot"; I just want to be happy."

I sincerely hope that at the end of all this, whenever the end may be, I will have accomplished that goal.

Brain catching up to the body

Lately I've been very confused about how I feel regarding my weight. One day I'm happy and want to stop losing since I've seemingly reached my goal (size 8 in pants, small t-shirts). But other days I feel just as fat as I did when I weighed over 200 pounds.

I guess all this comes down to the fact that my brain has not caught up to my body. I've thought of myself as a "big girl" for most of my life, so it's hard for my brain to switch from 20+ years of that thinking to being "normal" within the span of a few months.

To illustrate: Instead of celebrating losing the equivalent of a small child, I still see myself as "big" when I look at pictures. I'm not necessarily fat anymore but I'm definitely not the fit person I imagined I'd be at this weight.

When I look at the pictures below, I don't see the progress I've made and the quads I've developed. Instead I focus on my huge calves and stout body, especially when compared to the people surrounding me.

I'm in the yellow/orange.

I "know" I'm fit and have lost a bunch of weight. But this knowledge is based solely on the shrinking sizes of my clothes. I'm still surprised every time someone I believe is normal-sized says something like, "You're smaller than me." It blows my mind because I still consider myself to be the "big girl."

I guess I just need to give my brain more time to understand and comprehend the transformation I've made in the past couple of years. I need more than a couple of months to automatically think of myself as normal-sized. It'll come, eventually.

In short, I need to be patient, which is not one of my virtues and does not come naturally. I have somehow managed to lose all of these pounds slowly and steadily, so I need to continue to practice that patience with how I perceive my body.

Vacation weight

It hasn't been a good week for me self-esteem-wise. After spending a week in Mexico, I weighed myself today and have gained 6 pounds since my last weigh-in two weeks ago. Some of this may still be water weight due to booze (I'm only four days from my last drink) and I may be getting my period soon so that may also be influencing my weigh-ins. But it's disheartening nonetheless.

In Mexico, I only drank alcohol on two occasions because I didn't want to consume too many empty calories. I was already eating too many chips and I really didn't need to add any more crap to my diet. I even went on two 3-mile runs because I was being too sedentary. So how the hell did I gain so much weight?!

I'm really hoping that most of this goes away because it's so disheartening to see such a big gain in such a short amount of time. It's like I can't let loose at all because all the weight will come back super quickly.

That thought is really scary because if I gain weight so easily, then maintenance will more resemble weight-loss than living a normal life, which is the opposite of what I was hoping for. I can't be so restrictive for the rest of my life.

I planned this weight-loss journey so it would be sustainable forever, but I was hoping that I'd be able to eat a bit more after I reached my goal weight. Like, increase my daily average from 1,500 to 1,800 calories. I'm not looking to binge eat here.

Sadly, that doesn't seem to be the case. Bummer.

On a happier note, here are a couple of pictures from vacation:

We went deep sea fishing in the rain. I really like how I look in this photo.

The view from our condo. It was glorious.

Continuing on when I'm content with my size

I'm currently at a weight and size that I find somewhat acceptable. I'm just below my lowest weight in college, but I'm significantly thinner because I have more muscle than I did back then. I consistently fit into size 12 pants and small/medium t-shirts, so it's not a bad place to be.

As a result, it's been really hard to stay focused with my exercise and calorie counting. I could be happy the way I am right now, which is what makes continuing on so difficult. But when I was this weight in college, I thought I needed to lose about 20 pounds. So clearly I'm just content with my size when compared to what I was last year (225 lbs). But if I were to look at my weight objectively then I know I would still like to be thinner and leaner.

This doesn't mean that I've been stuffing my face with chocolate, ice cream, and beer (with the exception of Halloween). I've been pretty good about controlling my cravings. But I've consistently been eating 1,800+ calories each day, which is more than the 1,500 I strive for daily. Additionally, I haven't made much effort to keep a consistent exercise routine. All of that has resulted in me not losing any weight.

For the past couple of months when I've stalled in weight-loss, I would tell myself that "I'll get back on the wagon tomorrow." But tomorrow has been nearly every day and I haven't changed anything. It's so easy to get back to my old habits of putting this thing off for weeks and months at a time when I'm decently happy with the way I look. the fact that I've been getting lots of compliments about my size doesn't help with finding motivation to go on.

This one garnered comments such as, "Looking GOOOOOOOOD!! So Fit and trim - oh la la."
I don't think it's that spectacular (look at that left thigh!) but multiple people have commented on it so maybe I'm being too critical.

I need to put my foot down and get serious about this because there is no ideal time to lose weight. There will always be something that gets in the way, whether it's rugby season and thus lots of drinking on weekend nights or bike rides that end at a bar.

Luckily, there's a big formal banquet in about a month that provides good incentive to slim down and tone up. I already look fabulous in some of the dresses I've tried on but I want to look even better. Mostly, I've needed a reason to get my butt to the gym to tone up my arms because my bingo wings have got to go. Dresses at a formal banquet are the perfect incentive for that!

I'm back, and proud!

I've taken a bunch of time off from the blog and from the process of weight-loss. I've continued to count my calories and make sure I exercise a decent amount of time each week, but I haven't made a real effort in either department.

For example, I've drank too much beer, eaten too much pizza, and spent way too many nights on the couch instead of moving around outside. Part of me is disappointed with this lifestyle, but another part of me is relieved because I needed that time to rest. At this point, I don't think I've lost any weight since late July or so, but I also haven't gained any, which is a different kind of success.

This weekend, a rugby referee asked me how much weight I've lost since I last saw him in early July. I lied and said 15 pounds, because that's how much I should've lost during that time. His reply? "Well, it definitely looks it." So apparently I look better. Another ref said I was hot. That one took me by surprise because no one has said that to me. Ever. When I told him that, he was surprised as well. Lastly, my former rugby teammates kept complementing me over the weekend saying I looked really good and very skinny.

All of this is to say that although I don't think I've lost any weight lately, I've come a long way since last Thanksgiving. Instead of dwelling on the summer of half-assed weight-loss, I should be very proud of the journey and the results of my efforts.

While this weight has led to positive comments and a lot of confidence on my end, I'm not done yet! I still have some ways to go, and I've already begun making that happen.

A bump in the road

Although I strive to lose 1.5 pounds per week on average, it doesn't always work out. In the last month, for example, I've lost absolutely no weight at all.

The last two weeks were spent on vacation and during that time I exercised very little and ate a lot. So I probably gained some weight. This is most likely because I spent nearly a week at a summer camp I used to work at and the meals and meal portions are very unpredictable there. So when they serve you something appetizing and you have the option to eat a larger portion, you go for it because you don't know when the next normal meal will be.

In the long run (over the course of an entire summer), this way of thinking works out because most meals are inadequate with regards to portion size. And by that I mean, we often get 1/2 of a scoop of mashed potatoes and half of a chicken breast, which is just not enough to hold me over for the day. But for some reason, I was able to get normal-sized portions during my time there and so I overate every single meal.

Prior to leaving on this vacation, I had been slacking with both exercise and food, and consequently I wasn't really losing any weight. I'm totally okay with this because I had been feeling burned out about the weight-loss plan for a while and needed a break from pushing myself. I also don't have a deadline by which I must lose all my weight, so pushing back the goal weight date isn't a big deal to me at all. It'll happen when it happens.

Since I got back on Monday, though, I've been more motivated to start losing weight again, which requires regular exercise and more strict food control than I've been doing lately. Mostly, I don't want to lose the muscle definition I've worked so hard to gain in the last few months, so I've got to get moving again.

I only have 35 more pounds to go! I have to keep repeating that with the exclamation point of excitement because that number seems so overwhelming and difficult. Even though I'm more than halfway there, 35 pounds is still a lot and the first 50 pounds were incredibly frustrating and difficult. So having to do more of that is scary.

Clearly I've found a method of weight-loss that works for me. I just have to stick with it and the weight will (hopefully) just fall off.

Taking a mini-break

These past couple of days I have not been feeling the exercise and weight-loss thing. In fact, I'm kind of exhausted by it. So I've taken a break.

I've only worked out once this week (Wednesday) after the 40+ mile ride on Saturday, and I have no intention of doing anything until tomorrow, and that's only because I have to referee* this weekend, which involves lots of running.

I also have been craving stuff I don't normally eat anymore, like Mamba candy, delicious bread, and tater tots. So I allowed myself to sneak some into my diet this week, and it was delicious. I didn't need to stuff myself with any of those things (I ate 1/3 of the Mambas, 1/2 of the bagel, and didn't finish the tater tots because they had freezer burn) but I definitely satisfied the cravings...while still being under or just slightly over my calorie goal.

So although I haven't had the calorie deficits this week that I strive to achieve, I've held myself to a decent amount of calories while still eating what I crave. And that's a win in my book.

It's this balance that I try to accomplish every day, one between being satisfied, not feeling deprived, and having calorie deficits. Some days I fail, which is why I'm only losing 1.5 pounds per week when most days I'm on track to lose 2+ pounds. And other days I just can't do it anymore and need a break.

These breaks have led to utter failure in the past when I've given up entirely on weight-loss because I was frustrated with the process. Usually this occurred at the 3-week mark, so I'm kind of impressed that it's taken this long (6 months) to get to that point. But I've lost so much and worked so hard that I can't give up entirely on this process. I can take mini-breaks to regain my sanity, but I can't just quit altogether.

Luckily, I have a week-long vacation coming up beginning on Tuesday and I'm going to stick by my vacation rules from last time, since they seemed to work so well:

1. avoid tracking calories because it will drive me crazy, and
2. not gain any weight.

This gives me a break from obsessing about precisely how many fries I had with dinner or exactly how many Wheat Thins I snacked on in the afternoon. But it's still not the ideal situation.

Ideally, I'd like to see the day when I can eat whatever I want without consequences or feeling guilty, but I'm not sure that's going to happen anytime soon, or ever for that matter. I think I will always feel guilty about binging on fried mac and cheese bites or going on a three-day bender. But maybe someday when I've reached my goal weight I'll be able to do all that and then spend the rest of the week burning it off instead of depriving myself and stressing about numbers, as is the case right now.

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*Every time I think about refereeing, I get really angry. I'm going to be doing the out-of-bounds part of reffing, which any joe schmo can do, so getting this assignment means nothing besides the fact that I was available. 

I'm incredibly frustrated that I haven't gotten much experience this season even though I was available to referee nearly every time there was a game. Guys that took the class when I did are at a much higher level than I am simply because they've done three times as many games as I have. And all of that is because I'm female.

And now I have to hang out with them all weekend and be resentful, even though they didn't do anything wrong. They just remind me of the unfairness of everything.

One of the guys that's in charge of identifying up-and-coming-referees was very impressed by my reffing at a tournament and said he'd put in a good word for me with the scheduler, who's a misogynistic asshole. But that's for women's college games, which had ended by that point, and I'm sure he'll forget about that comment by the fall when the season starts up again.

I will be sure to remind him, though, because I deserve to get those games. If I don't, I'm afraid I'm going to be stuck with all the bullshit high school girls' matches, also simply because I'm a girl. Hopefully they'll give me some higher-level women's matches as well, but there's not banking on that.

Wow, this is a lot longer than I intended it, mostly because I'm pretty pissed off about the situation. It doesn't help that the only advice the other woman in the referee society has given me is to be patient because there's nothing else I can do about it. Unfortunately, patience is not a virtue I possess. So instead, I stress about it.

Going big this weekend

I bike with a women's group sometimes and every weekend they offer 3 rides of varying lengths: short, medium, and long. The distance for each length varies each week and progressively increases in each category as the season goes on.

When I'm not busy with rugby, I sign up to lead a ride usually of medium length because that's about the distance I'm at on my weekday rides. I don't like going too long before I'm ready because then I just hate my life and stay away from the bike altogether for long periods of time, as was the case with an Olympic distance triathlon I did a few years ago.

Anywhos, this weekend the medium ride is going somewhere I've been way too many times in the past couple of weeks and I'm kind of sick of that route. The long ride, on the other hand, is going 43 miles (I haven't ridden that far in over a year) AND uphill.

By "uphill" I don't mean any ol' hill, but rather the ride that I've been afraid to do since I first began biking around here three years ago. I'll go up a mountain, but for some reason I'm too afraid to ride to Jamestown.

At the same time, my jaunt up Lookout Mountain a couple of weeks ago has given me some courage with regards to road bike climbing so I'm pretty confident I will be able to make it up there with minimal psyche scarring. After all, the average grade is only 3.2% for those 6.5 miles. It's not too bad.

Sometimes, though, I get embarrassed by my big butt trying to make it up these hills, and I imagine other cyclists thinking that I don't belong there and that it's no wonder that I'm going so slowly. In those cases I have to remind myself that during such a long and brutal climb, everyone is simply focusing on their own suffering and no one pays attention to anything besides the burning of their lungs and legs.

That self-centered thinking makes it all better. It's also the only instance where I applaud egotism, mostly because it helps me. Also, I'm going with a bunch of women who are all very supportive, which helps matters as well.

So on Saturday, I ride this:

I'm choosing to ignore the 6 miles of uphill leading up to the real climb. Those are just pesky details that should be disregarded for the sake of my sanity.

Also, I will be going with the "fast" group (16+ mph) because although I will slow down significantly on the uphill (like 6.5 mph slow), I'm pretty sure I can keep a 16 mph pace during the flats on the way out there, and everything after the climb is downhill for 17 miles all the way home...my specialty!

Sometimes gravity really does work to my advantage.

"Your face looks thinner. Have you lost weight?"

Comments such as the post title have been coming at me in the last week from people in entirely different social circles. So they clearly have all noticed it on their own and not discussed it with each other. It's really weird to hear because 1) they've all said something in the last week and not before, and 2) I haven't noticed any visual evidence of my weight-loss.

Some of my clothes fit better (read, they're no longer like spandex) but for the most part I think my t-shirts and jeans feel the exact same way now as they did a month ago. This is probably because both of those articles of clothing are made of stretchy material while my khakis and jackets are not, but I really don't feel any smaller in my clothes nor do I see myself as thinner when I look in the mirror.

I think part of the "denial" about my weight-loss is due to the fact that I never really saw myself as all that fat. I mean, I know I have fat but for some reason I believe that it's a somewhat thin layer covering a lean, tall, mass of muscle, none of which is true in real life. In fact, I'm obese, 5'4", and have nearly 50% body fat. But I seem to think otherwise, which is why I've let myself get to this weight in the first place. I'm really good at ignoring reality.

Because my perception of my size is so warped, every time I see a picture of myself I am surprised by my weight. Practically every time I see something posted on Facebook or look through pictures I have taken during a trip, I am taken aback by how obese I really am. Each picture is honestly a shock to me and since I'm not looking at them all the time and there aren't many mirrors in my life (at least not from the chest down) it is really easy to see myself as what I'd like to be instead of what I really am.

In that respect, I really only have two perceptions of people's body sizes: fat and thin. Since I've always thought of myself as fat for as long as I can remember (albeit, normal fat -- see two paragraphs below), I associate my current size with the "fat" I remember from high school, when I weighed a whopping 155 pounds. Yeah, I wasn't fat at all and I wish I was that weight now, but in high school for a 5'4" girl, 155 is way bigger than "normal". And since I haven't gotten skinny since that time, in my mind I'm still in the same fat category of my youth, which is big but not all that big. So you see where my current disconnect with reality comes from.

To go even farther back with my issues of fatness, in third grade there were three kids in my class who were constantly teased for being fat. I wasn't one of those three and I never understood why not. I felt lucky for escaping the ridicule and sometimes even joined in on the taunts (not my brightest moment) but I just couldn't comprehend why they were getting flak for their weight while I was considered normal. Where was the line drawn? Because in my mind, anyone thicker than a bean pole was fat. And I sure wasn't a bean pole. Not even close.

It's taken a long time for me to realize that people can have fat on them and not be "fat". And I still catch myself thinking that being a bean pole is the only way to go. It's a distinction that I continue to struggle with and I don't think it's going to be fixed any time soon. I still notice thicker normal-sized people and don't think of them as "normal" per se, even though they're a size 10-12. For some reason I focus on their large hips or non-sculpted arms and see "fat" instead of their natural, perfectly fine body.

Part of this is due to being bombarded by society's unrealistic perception of beauty, part is due to living in a ridiculously thin town where The Roommie (a size 10) feels fat, and part is due to constantly being told to lose weight by my family from an early age. Regardless of the reasons behind my thinking, I just can't get past the thought that anyone who isn't lean, isn't normal-sized.

It's this mindset that makes me worry that I'll never be content with my weight no matter how thin I eventually become. I will always have fat on me because those are the genes I have been dealt and I do actually love having hips. I also don't strive to be athletically thin because I don't have the will-power or desire to commit to that eating and training plan.

So unless I change my way of thinking, I will always be unhappy about my body. And after all the work I will have hypothetically put into losing 85+ pounds, I want to have a body I am at least somewhat satisfied with. It's probably not going to be conventionally beautiful, but I'm hoping it'll be normal.

To go back to what started this post and to end on a positive note, I guess I kind of knew that I was losing weight because the number on my scale has been going down for some time (it's stubbornly stuck between 201.0 and 200.5 lb right now...so frustrating!). But I didn't see the loss on my body and thus I didn't believe it. After-all, I still have a lot of fat on my arms, my thighs, and my stomach, and taking a few pounds off doesn't really move me to the "thin" category, which is where the true distinction lies. Right now, I don't believe the loss makes that much of a difference in my appearance. That is, until my friends and colleagues spoke up.

One comment from The Roommie wasn't even enough to budge my way of thinking. It had to come from several different directions and had to be off-hand, not me soliciting comments but them initiating the discussion. Only after I had heard this several times did I even consider that going down one belt hole was an option for keeping my pants situated on my hips. I then realized that I can actually go down two or even three more and still be comfortable.

When cleaning my room, I started trying on the clothes I had bought "for when I lose weight"...and I started fitting into some of them! I'm currently consistently wearing size 16 pants and shorts, which a huge surprise because I was a solid 18 when I started this, sometimes even needing a 20.

So although I may not notice any weight-loss when I look in the mirror or glance through pictures, other people are noticing and my clothes don't lie. I'm using that outside input as a way to retrain my brain to a more normal way of thinking so hopefully somewhere down the line I will be able to see these changes on my own.

I may have a long way to go, but at least I'm getting somewhere right now.

Losing weight without dieting

I've been instructed by myfitnesspal to limit my calorie intake to something significantly lower than what I'm used to eating. And it has been a struggle, to say the least.

First, it's hard to say "no" to beer and peanut butter cups on a nearly daily basis. But I've gotten pretty good about consuming those things only when I really want them instead of out of boredom. That's cut down on my calories quite a bit.

Second, decreasing my portion sizes and relearning what a normal meal is has also been a challenge. But with measuring cups and scales I've been able to readjust my understanding of what I should be eating and I don't look at my meals like, "That's it?" nearly as much as I used to.

But the most difficult part of all this has been finding a way to eat all my regular foods without going over my calorie allowance. I've said before that I don't eat a lot of junk food (with the exception of beer and chocolate). I don't really like sodas and I've never felt the need to smother everything in cheese and butter. That is not to say I don't like cheese and butter, because I very much do. But I grew up on a normal dose of this stuff so cutting it down to normal levels hasn't made as drastic a change weight-wise as it has for other people. And I really like fruits and vegetables. Always have and always will. I eat them voraciously which really can be a problem.

As a result, I don't have weight-gaining habits that are easily identifiable and thus changing the most common things hasn't had as big of an effect on my weight-loss as it does for other people. I simply need to eat less of everything I currently put into my mouth, whether it be fewer trips to the pho place (take-out portions are deliciously ginormous!) or less ice cream in my bowl.

My goal for losing weight this time around is to make it sustainable and learn to live a life that will last me for years after I've reached my goal weight. For that to happen, I can't eliminate entire food groups, like carbohydrates, because I can't stay away from bread and pasta forever. Yeah, I could probably do it for a year or two, but not forever. As soon as I bring carbs back into my life, I'll most likely gain weight and/or have to learn how to moderate it then. I'd rather do the learning now instead of putting it off until I'm (hypothetically) thinner.

Another thing I'd like to avoid is eating the stereotypical diet foods like mashed cauliflower instead of mashed potatoes or Crystal Light instead of the occasional soda. Normal-sized people eat full-fat ice cream and mashed potatoes and manage to stay normal. I have a regular metabolism, so why shouldn't I be able to do that? (Besides the obvious...because I'm losing weight and need a calorie deficit to make that happen.)

I can't always control what is being served to me at dinner parties, restaurants, or a cafeteria, and therefore it will most likely be the farthest thing from diet food. As a result, I want to be able to function in the real food world without always worrying about full-fat meals being put in front of me. This doesn't mean I will always order the 4-cheese macaroni and cheese bowl every time because my skinny friend does it. But I don't want to be that person who doesn't go out to eat with people or avoids dinner parties because I'm worrying about what will be served.

So the question becomes, how do I eat fewer calories without changing my diet? I guess it all comes down to portion control, will-power, exercise, and moderation. I can still have my gnocchi but I won't make it the main part of my meal. Baking cookies can still be fun and delicious, except I won't be eating the entire batch of cookie dough in one sitting*. And that beer will cost me an extra 15 minutes on the bike. I'm okay with those things because they all seem so normal, while having spaghetti squash instead of pasta just isn't.

None of this will be easy but I am seriously getting the hang of it slowly but surely. I still slip up occasionally and sometimes I can't resist the allure of that chocolate bar on the coffee table. But I try to make sure I earn my nights out and don't eat more calories than my body burns. If I learn to survive and be happy on 1500-1600 calories of normal food now, I can definitely keep that up for longer than this diet will last. As I get thinner I'll lose weight more slowly if I keep with these calorie goals, but I can offset that by exercising more. Or by that point I will have learned to get more bang for my buck with regards to food so dropping to 1200-1300 calories won't be so shocking for my body. And when I get to a more manageable weight, I do plan on being more active. My out-of-shapeness is holding me back from doing things right now, and I hate that.

Maybe I'm being incredibly naive and should embrace this new life of "dieting". Maybe I just need to suck it up and accept that I will no longer have those potatoey mashed potatoes. But I really don't want to. I want to be normal in the food world because for as long as I can remember I've been the opposite of that. I've worried too much about my weight and about what I eat and I'm so sick of it.

I know that food and choosing what I put into my mouth will always be a problem for me, and I will always struggle with my weight in one way or another. But I'd like to minimize this crap by at least eating normal foods, maybe less of them and less frequently, but normal foods nonetheless. I can't be on a "diet" forever, so why should I be on one now? It simply goes against everything I hope to accomplish with this current lifestyle change, one that seems to be working...for now at least.

---
*Notice the positive verbs I'm using here? "Can" instead of "can't" and "won't" instead of "can't"? It's been shown that people who use power words have better success with whatever they're trying to achieve.

And I can totally see that. Saying I can't do something is depriving myself of it and when I feel deprived, I don't continue with the "diet". So now I just don't do things instead of not being able to do things. It's worked surprisingly well for me.

Ride the Rockies Training Schedule

Here is a training schedule to prepare for a week-long bike tour held in Colorado every June called Ride the Rockies. Sometimes they take this page down, especially in the off-season, so I wanted to copy it here for reference.

This is what I generally use to increase my bike mileage gradually. I've never actually completed this entire schedule nor have I ever participated in Ride the Rockies, although I strive to do both. I think the farthest I've gotten is Week 5 or 6 before I start lounging, lose all my fitness, and have to start over.

When I do stick with it, I notice a HUGE increase in my speed. I also tend to incorporate sprints into the earlier rides (sprint every other telephone pole, or a long farm block) and in the spring I did a monstrous hill once or twice a week. So all that helped significantly.

I don't think I have time to add the hills right now because I've started running again twice a week, but we'll see. Also, with vacations, holidays, and winter weather approaching, I have no idea how far I'll get this time around.

All credit goes to the Ride the Rockies folks.

What do you mean I don't look Eastern European?

My bio professor wanted to meet with me and since it's a large lecture class, he just knows my name and not my face. I walked into his office today as planned and he looked at me funny, as if he wasn't expecting me. Finally he said, "How do you pronounce your last name?" I did that for him, and he still looked at me funny. He said something about me not being what he expected, and when I inquired further, he remarked that I don't look Eastern European and upon further questioning said something about me not having a thick accent.

Normally, this is not a big deal. But I'm insecure about my weight and assume everything has to do with that. When someone says I can't do something, I think it's because I'm fat. When they look at me funny, it's because I'm one of the few obese people in this town. When someone dismisses me and seems disinterested in having a conversation with me, it's my fatness pushing them away. You get the point.

So that's where my mind went as soon as he said I don't look Eastern European. I mean, girls from there are tall, blonde, and skinny. I only fit one of those stereotypes, and usually only in the summer when my hair has been bleached by the sun. I do have the high cheekbones and light eyes, but that's about it. And part of me (actually a large chunk of me...no pun intended) really hates the fact that I should be skinny because of my heritage but am not because I choose to eat lots of food and live the slovenly American lifestyle.

I get embarrassed when I'm back in Europe and people find out I live in the States, because I assume they think that I'm the stereotypical American. The thing is, no female in my family (extended or close, in Europe or in the U.S.) is thin. We all have curves, and we've all struggled with our weight. We're the child-bearers of the world and we won't die in a famine. At one point, my mom was super skinny but she was also anorexic and ended up in the hospital, so clearly it wasn't a healthy or natural weight.

I would love to be the Eastern European bombshell that my country is made out to be. A lot of people I talk to remark on how the women in my country are beautiful over-all, and it hurts me so much inside to hear that and know I'm the exception. I probably could be one of those girls. I don't know, I've never really tried. Hearing it today brought back those feelings of cultural insecurity not only with regards to my weight but also to the feeling that I'm letting my Eastern Europeanness slip away.

It's becoming hard for me to find the words to communicate with my brother in our native tongue and I trip up all the time when I try to speak with my aunts and uncles. It really scares me because I know I won't be moving back there anytime soon and my language skills are only going to get worse. I need to make an active effort in immersing myself in the language one way or another otherwise it's going to be lost for good. It's just hard and most of the time I don't have the energy to even try. It's a vicious cycle that is very similar to my weight-loss journey.

As you can tell, there are a lot of issues that were brought up with that one silly comment from a professor whom I never liked in the first place.

The clothes I bought today

White polo shirt - XL and barely fit
White undershirt - L and fits tighter than spandex
Dickies bottoms (men's cut) - 42 x 30 and still snug in the hips

Something needs to be done about this.

Salad

My schedule this semester is going to be interesting. The good thing about it is that I'm on campus at 9 am at the latest every day. Another good thing is that I'm done before noon every day, and if I don't feel like being a superstar and auditing a physics class, I'm done by 11. This is the perfect schedule to then go to the office and get a couple of hours of work in and still get home at an early time.

And it also gives me the perfect opportunity to bring my lunch to school and have plenty of time to eat it. I don't know how that last part relates to my schedule, but that was my train of thought at the moment. Mostly, I need to stop buying lunch on campus when I can bring something more nutritious and significantly cheaper.

And the perfect lunch that won't spill from my tupperwate into my backpack that also doesn't require immediate refrigeration is...SALAD! Actually, I came to the idea of salad because I'm in love with balsamic vinegar at the moment, but whatever. I need to eat more vegetables in general so this is perfect.

I was never one to like salad because I didn't think it filled me up enough (and I REALLY don't like lettuce). I still have that concern today so I turned to the interwebs for some answers.

After much searching, I found the sentence that somewhat summarizes what makes a salad filling. Essentially, what you need is a "little meat or fish, like chicken or tuna salad, or salads that incorporate hearty grains, or beans or pasta."

But my favorite was still the first result of my "filling salad ingredients" Google search:
Salads That Will Fill You Up on askmen.com

Yes, please! If it's good enough for a dude, then I think I'll like it. Here is my favorite of the four listed:

Filling salad 2: Niçoise salad 

Ingredients:
1/2 head Boston lettuce leaves
1/2 pound green beans, lightly steamed
1/2 cup vinaigrette (mixture of olive oil, the vinegar of your choice, and a squeeze of mustard)
Salt and pepper to taste
1-2 tomatoes, cut into wedges
1-2 red potatoes, peeled, sliced, and boiled in water until cooked
1 3-oz can chunk tuna or 1 cooked tuna steaks
3 hard-boiled eggs, halved
1 red onion
1 can of anchovies
1/3 cup small black Niçoise-type olives
1 tbsp capers
1 tbsp shallots
1 tbsp minced fresh parsley

Directions:
Put the lettuce in a shallow bowl. Toss the beans with the shallots, a couple spoonfuls of vinaigrette, and salt and pepper. Baste the tomatoes with a spoonful of vinaigrette. Cook and slice the potatoes and arrange them with the beans, tomatoes and tuna in the center of the plate. Ring the platter with halves of hard-boiled eggs. Spoon vinaigrette over everything; scatter on olives, capers, parsley, and serve. This should make about three servings.

Fullness factor: The complexities in taste will trick your mouth into believing you’re eating a huge seafood dinner. The tuna, especially when using the tuna steak option, and hard-boiled eggs provide a heavy protein base. The salty anchovies and starchy potatoes make this a satisfying, well-rounded meal, but each ingredient is so simple and healthy on its own that you never end up veering into unhealthy territory.

I'm not a fan of anchovies or olives so those will have to be omitted, but other than that this sounds amazing. Now I wonder if cold tuna steak is just as good as warm tuna steak...

I found another version that added and/or substituted the following for the eggs and olives, for 2-3 servings:

6 cups mixed salad greens (instead of Boston lettuce leaves)
1/2 small cucumber, halved, seeded, and thinly sliced
12 small cherry or grape tomatoes, halved
4 ounces smoked salmon, cut into 2-inch pieces

Another option that was suggested by Wikipedia is canned tuna, so that may be my back-up plan.

And here's another "filling salad" simply because I crave BBQ chicken sometimes:

Filling salad 4: Barbecue chicken salad

Ingredients:
2 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
4 stalks celery, chopped
1 large red bell pepper, diced
1/2 red onion, diced
1 can sweet corn, drained
1/4 cup barbecue sauce
2 tbsps nonfat mayonnaise

Directions:
Broil the chicken in your oven for 10 minutes on each side, or until juices run clear. Remove from heat, cool and cut into cubes. Toss together the chicken, celery, red bell pepper, onion, and corn. In another bowl, mix the barbeque sauce and mayonnaise. Pour over the chicken and veggies. This makes about four servings.

Fullness factor: When you’re craving barbecue but don’t want the calories or the hassle, this salad will really save you. In around 30 minutes, you can make as delicious a dish as most restaurants. It’s easy, healthy, and the chicken really fills you up. This is a salad any man can feel good about eating and not worry about looking like a rabbit.

A side note: you can substitute Fage Fat-Free Greek Yogurt for the mayonnaise and it will be just as tasty but much less calorific. In fact, Fage works as a substitute for mayo in all cases, except when you need to bake with it. In that case, I can't help you.

Oh, and all the canned stuff in these recipes can definitely come from non-canned sources, which is what I plan on doing. I'm just going to make something for dinner the night before that incorporates the canned ingredients and make them in excess for salad the next day (like corn).

This is the start of me trying to make my lunch from leftovers. It's a difficult thing for me to do since up until about a year ago, I never ate leftovers. They still gross me out, but I don't like cooking every day more than I don't like eating leftovers. Lesser of two evils, I suppose.

I've also found a great salad dressing from delish and Food & Wine:

Creamy Feta Vinaigrette - Serve with Mixed Grilled Vegetables
Brush thickly sliced zucchini, peppers, eggplant, and onions with olive oil. Grill until tender and browned. Serve warm, topped with the dressing.

Anywhos, for now, I have plenty of delicious meat from home to make some awesome sandwiches for the next week or so, but after that I'm totally making salad. Chicken or tuna salads are also on the menu for the colder months.

And lastly, I finally pumped up the tires on my junk commuter bike and they were at 15 psi. They should be at 65. That explains why it's been so hard to go anywhere. And here I thought I was just grossly out of shape.

P.S. In my search for delicious salads, I stumbled upon a blog that has some great ideas, called 101 Cookbooks. Here are the ones I'm planning on trying:

• Honey Balsamic Bean Salad
• Summer Green Bean Salad
• Orzo Super Salad
• Roasted Pumpkin Salad
• Broccoli Crunch
• Spring Panzanella
• Spring Wild Rice Salad
• Farro and Roasted Butternut Squash
• Red Rice Salad
• Ravioli Pasta Salad
• Roasted Beet and Blood Orange Salad with Spicy Greens

A conversation with my running self

The other day I went out on a C210K run and, as always, got discouraged/bored with two more 2 minute intervals to go. Really? It's only 4 more minutes of running! I shouldn't be having these problems. So I sat myself down and had a little debate in the parking lot. Here's how it went:

Lazy, Running Me: This sucks! I don't want to keep running. I'll just walk home.
Motivating, Rational Me: Doing this is the only way you'll get fit for rugby season.
LRM: I wasn't fit this season and it wasn't too bad.
MRM: Wasn't too bad? You hated going to practice because the drills required running, and you were frustrated that you were much slower than everyone else only because you were too lazy to train in the off-season.
LRM: Maybe. But everyone is much better than me anyways and getting fit still won't get me a starting position.
MRM: You don't know that. And there's only one way to know for sure. Besides, running and getting fit is not just for rugby. You wished you were fitter on last week's mountain bike ride so you could enjoy it more. And you have a race coming up in a month that you wished you'd been able to run last time.
LRM: I'll just walk this part and make up the run tomorrow.
MRM: No. How about you run two more minutes and suck it up? And then you can rest a bit, and finish out the last two minutes. IT'S JUST FOUR MORE MINUTES OF RUNNING!!!
LRM: Fine.
[LRM starts jogging super, duper slowly, barely faster than a walk.]
MRM: So just because you're mad, you're going to mess up your times from the last five intervals? C'mon, you can get under a 10 min/mile pace for two minutes. It's downhill!
LRM: Hmf.

And then I started actually running. And grumbled the whole way home. But I did it and need to continue doing it until I learn to enjoy it, which better happen soon.

P.S. This is a true story. I really did talk to myself, out loud. Luckily there was no one around because people may've been concerned if they saw someone walking around in circles mumbling angrily to themselves in the church parking lot the day before doomsday.

Bike gear ratios

On my triathlon support group someone asked about gear ratios and I wrote out this whole thing for him explaining how to calculate them. Since I'm afraid I'm going to lose my original chart and/or forget how to do it in the future, I'm going to post a copy here. This site may soon become a place I list nuggets of triathlon advice in addition to chronicling my weight-loss journey. Hopefully one doesn't take over the other.

George,

That gearing website is over my head as well but I once took a gear class/talk/thingamabob and they greatly simplified the whole thing for newbies like me. Essentially the guy taught us how to rank our gears from lowest to highest, across all three chainrings/cranks/cassettes/whatever they're called (the name escapes me now). Out of the 30 gears I have on my bike (3 in front x 10 in back) I was able to rank them in order and can now shift more smoothly in that I don't skip gears when shifting going uphill and get less tired overall.

Here's how...it involves a lot of counting the cogs on each ring, so beware. Unless you're a good Googler, that is.

1. Figure out how many cogs are on each of your rings, both front and back. Usually for the front that's given in the specs for the bike (mine's 50/39/30) and for the back they give you a range (mine's 12-27, 10 speed). You can either Google that particular cassette/rear gear rings by getting the name and range off the specs website for your bike or get on your hands and knees and count them all. I recommend the latter, but I know it's not always possible. Oftentimes you can also guesstimate the spacing between the gears in the back. Steve is much better at that than I am.
2. For each gear, divide the number of cogs from the front gear by the number of cogs on the back gear, and multiply the whole thing by wheel size. For the purposes of ranking your gears relative to each other, you don't have to multiply by the wheel size, since the order of gears comes out the same regardless. I still multiplied since it gave larger numbers and was easier to compare and rank them later. For example, for my fastest overall gear (largest front gear, smallest back gear) and what I thought were 26" wheels at the time, I did the following: 26*50/12 = 108 and do that for all your other gears as well. You don't have to convert your wheel size to metric. Or you can multiply by some random number to take care of the decimals. The important part is divide the front gear by the rear gear.
3. Remove two gears with smallest front/smallest back and smallest front/2nd smallest back, and two gears with largest front/largest back and largest front/2nd largest back from your chart, for a total of four gears removed. You should never be riding in those gears since in those combinations, the chain is diagonal across the gear rings which is not good for either or the chain and grates on the components. So avoid at all costs.
   
4. Rank your resulting numbers from highest to lowest, with the lower numbers being lowest/slowest gears (granny gears) and higher numbers being highest/fastest gears (downhills). So the granny gears (smallest front, largest back) would have low numbers and the gears for downhills (largest front, smallest back) would have super high numbers.
5. Write it all out on a piece of paper and tape it to your handlebars. It really helps on the uphills especially with knowing into which gear you should downshift so as not to skip gears. Makes the climb smoother and more effective, in my opinion.

Below is my gear chart. The multicolored chart and numbers are the result of the formula I mentioned in #2 above: wheel size*front gear cogs/rear gear cogs. And the bottom chart is the ranking of the gears from slowest to fastest (granny gears to downhill gears). As you can see, I've crossed out the four gears I mentioned in #3 that you should never use and didn't include them in my rankings.

The numbers for the front and rear gears correspond to the number of cogs on each ring.

I've taped a little index card with the bottom chart info on my handlebars and try to shift in order. It's especially useful on uphills when I feel like I'm shifting too quickly or the one I'm in is just a tad too hard so I downshift and all is well. It's taken a little getting used to in figuring out what gear I'm actually in to be able to see where to go next, and I still find myself looking back at my rear derailleur quite often.

So during normal flats or rolling hills I don't really stick with the gear chart too much and just do it by feel, and don't really care if I'm a little bit off. As you can see in the middle gears of the middle chainring, the numbers aren't that different (first chart) and thus changing gears from say a gear combo of 39/17 to 50/21 (ranking 13 to 14) is about the same as from 39/17 to 39/16 (ranking 13 to 15). Here is where having an accurate wheel size comes in handy because you can see that 13 to 14 is 60 to 62 (not sure about the units...inches, maybe?) and 13 to 15 is 60 to 63, so only a difference of 1 inch between the two results, but you're going from 13 to 15 in just one gear change as compared to 3 for 13 to 14. So in those middle gears sometimes it's not important to go in order since the differences are slight and you can skip a ranking without feeling too much of a difference in order to shift less frequently.

Once you get to the granny gears or downhill gears, the differences are much more noticeable. Going from ranking 3 to 2 (30/21 to 30/24) is 37 inches to 33 inches, while ranking 3 to 1 (30/21 to 30/27) is 37 inches to 29 inches, a much bigger jump and thus a gear you probably don't want to skip.

Also, on the uphills it's easier to know which gear I'm in since the terrain is not changing as often and thus I'm in the same gear for a longer amount of time, but also because the differences between the gear combos are so great that I can generally feel where I am on the cassette. Overall, this has been really helpful in getting myself to ride in the proper gear and thus making my riding more efficient and smoother. I would highly recommend making a chart of your own.

Nifty little calorie cycling site

I've always wondered where people get their calorie cycling numbers, and now I've found it!

Here is not only a calorie calculator, showing your daily needs depending on activity level, but also giving some insight into what you should be eating and when with regards to calorie cycling.

My results are as follows:

And as you can see from the very bottom of the image, you can also calculate macro nutrient ratios (carbs, protein, fat) depending on you daily calorie intake.

Here's a snapshot of that:

Pretty nifty site. I don't really need the daily calorie thing since I have a GoWear Fit that tells me exactly how many calories I burn a day. But it's really nice to see how I should be calorie cycling for those inevitable plateau weeks. And the macro nutrient breakdown is really interesting.

Feeling discouraged yet again

I just got a text from The Roommie and it's somewhat disheartening:
"This is the most awkward proctor's night. The coaches are talking about recruiting another loose head and none of the team is talking to me. :("

Let me translate. Proctor's is a dive bar next to our practice field, and loose head is the position both I and The Roommie play. I actually only started playing loosehead about a month ago because my usual position is now occupied by one of the coach's favorites. Well, that's not entirely why she's starting all the time, because she is fairly good. But the fact that she's known the coach for eight years and moved out here to play for her sure doesn't help the situation.

Anywhos, I'm discouraged by that text because it's sad to hear you suck. Like, really suck. It's also another confirmation that I'm a huge outsider on this team, as if trying to hang out and talk to people but getting ignored instead wasn't indication enough. But that's a story for another day.

So I feel as if my plan to get super fit and super strong for the upcoming season is not going to be enough to get a starting position. At all. I just feel like all this is hopeless and I should just quit and wallow in my misery like I have been doing for years now.

But then I have to remember that this summer's plans are not just for rugby. Getting fit is not just for rugby. I've wanted to be thinner way before I started playing this sport so my goals shouldn't change just because there's a small kink in my plan for world domination. Well, at least on the rugby pitch.

And even if I'm not a starter on a super awesome team, I will still be thinner and fitter and (hopefully) happier. That, and I can't predict how good I'll be 50 pounds lighter. I mean, I was an All American (Second Team, but All American nonethess) when I wasn't exactly "thin" for my height. So who knows what will happen when I'm actually fit?

Blast from the past: 165+ pounds of awesomeness.

My whole goal for this summer was to come back in August and have everyone say, "Wow." I want to blow their minds by my hard work during our off-season. I want to show them what kind of rugby player I can be when I don't have all those extra pounds of padding weighing me down.

So let that be my motivation. Regardless if I make the starting side or not, I want to know that the only reason I didn't is because my skills aren't as good as someone else's, and not because my weight is slowing me down. I want to realize my full potential. Is that too much to ask?

Lordosis, another problem I have due to excessive couch sitting

My lower back has been hurting a lot lately, especially when I read on my stomach in bed, or spend a long time sitting on the couch. I asked our trainer for the rugby team what the deal was and she says I have lordosis, which is an excessive inward curve of the spine. She gave me some stretches to do and I'm not sure if they've helped, probably because I haven't been doing them as often as I need to.

Here are the causes:

• Tight hip flexors
• Weak core muscles
• Poor exercise form (or no exercise form)
• Weak gluteal muscles
• Obesity (of course)

I have noticed lately that my core muscles have gotten noticeably weaker and also that my hip flexors are sometimes pretty tight. So those seem to be relatively easily fixed problems, and they would aid in my overall goal of getting stronger and fitter this rugby season.

I've found some good stretches/exercises to incorporate into my life while I'm watching the daily TV show. They're not unpleasant like running while watching TV (which I can never seem to do) so I think I'm more likely to get them done.

And they are the following (from www.stronglifts.com):

• Bridges. Glute activation & strengthening exercise. Raise your glutes off the floor by squeezing them as hard as you can. 3 sets of 10 reps.
• Birddogs. Single leg glute activation exercise. Brace your abs & keep your spine neutral. Push back with your heels. 3 sets of 10 reps both sides.
• Hip Flexor Stretches. Use padding for your knees. Keep your torso perpendicular to the floor & your lower back neutral. Think upper leg back, not going down. Squeeze the glute of the back leg. 3 sets of 10 secs each side.
• Hamstring Stretches. Leg Swings. Chest forward, shoulders back, lower back straight & knees unlocked. Look forward. Move your legs, keep your pelvis still. If you can’t get high: keep working at it. Flexibility will come. 3 sets of 10 reps each side.
• Strengthen Abs. Turkish Get-ups are my favorite. 5×5, increasing the weight every session.

And some more from Livestrong:

• Hip Flexor Stretches. You can also manually stretch your hip flexors by standing up, bending your knee and holding on to your ankle. Tilt your pelvis forward as you pull the leg back. Hold the stretch for at least 30 seconds.
• The Pelvic Tilt. The pelvic tilt position is the opposite of an arched back. If practiced daily, it can help correct a lordotic posture. Lie on your back with your knees bent and your feet flat on the floor. Inhale to prepare. As you exhale, tilt the lower part of your pelvis from the floor, forming a hollow bowl between your pelvis and your navel. Perform about 20 repetitions daily.
• Stability Ball Bridge. The stability ball bridge strengthens your gluteal muscles. Since the ball is an unstable object, it requires deep core activation. As such, this exercise will work your butt and your deep abdominal muscles. Lie on your back with your calves draped over the ball. Begin with the pelvic tilt. Then, squeeze your butt until you are in a bridge position. As you roll down, try to feel each vertebra touch the floor. Make sure that the lower back touches the floor before the pelvis. Perform 12 repetitions every day.
• Stability Ball Crunch. Strengthening your abdominal muscles is essential for correcting spinal lordosis. Performing your crunches on a stability ball will make use of your deeper abdominal muscles. Position yourself on the ball so that you butt, lower back and mid-back are against the ball's surface. Rest your fingers at the edge of your head. Inhale to prepare. As you exhale, curl your upper torso so that your rib cage moves toward your pelvis. Perform 20 repetitions daily.
• Knees to Chest Stretch and Heel Slide. Lie on your back with your knees bent. Lift both legs from the floor, and draw your knees to your chest. Hold the stretch for 30 seconds. Then, lower one heel to the floor. Keep the opposite knee close to your chest. Slide the other heel along the floor until the leg is straight. Keep your back flat on the floor the entire time. Perform eight repetitions on each leg.

So I think the plan will be to do a combination of these every day as well as some general strength and endurance training. More on that later.